I have AvPD and it has completely ruined my life and has prevented me from getting anything out of life. I wasn't able to further my education because of it. I have been unable to hold down a job. I have a hard time making and keeping friends. My only friends are online. I have no social life and no family except my mother and our relationship is sort of dysfunctional. I am terrified of rejection, completely over sensitive to everything, and am always afraid of embarrassing myself. I also do not like going many places on my own. Because of all of this, I am severely depressed and lonely. I feel empty on the inside.

All I want is to lead a semi-normal existence. I'd like to find someone to love and have my own little family some day. I'd also like to hopefully go back to school so I can have a decent career and so I can help others. Yet all of these seems impossible. I have never been normal so it's hard to me imagine being able to capable function as a normal human being.