i have told my son. he's ten now and started asking me why he has to take medicine all the time. I decided to be up front with him but broke it down to his level so he knows he's autistic but he also understands that he's "sam first". he knows and i have taught him that autism is just a small part of who he is.

thanks for getting back to me, what exactly can we say , hes a smart little boy and full of questions when , he has a question for every answer he is given, does sam feel like he is different, it's bad enough that some kids make these kids feel different

i have told sam that he has autism; i've explained in the most simplest terms that his brain is wired different and he thinks about things a certain way but i've also explained that everyone is special and different in their own way. i have a social worker currently working with sam in groups and individually about social skills and cues and the school has told his class mates what sam has and have explained why he behaves the way he does so he is comfortable with it and the kids have been great with him. they all sort of look out for him now.

my grandson is in a school for children with autism they are mainstreaming him to regular school , there is a school closer to our home but they wont allow a buddy , which they feel he needs for a little while, they also feel that he should be in a inclusion class and not a special ed class, so confusing

I will be honest with my son but I won't talk about it with others in front of him unless he is part of the conversation. In fact, as he is getting older, I am trying not to talk about it as much at all since I want him to develop himself based upon his own perceptions of himself and not the label that has been assigned to him or what others are telling him that he is.

HI!

My son is 13. He was diagnosed at the age of 3. When he was 6, and had started to regain functional use of words, we wanted to give him a voice - a way to explain to other people for himself. He IS very smart, but his language is limited, so we gave him a way to answer other kids questions about his behavior.

He knows to tell them that "I have a smart, autistic brain." We designed it that way to emphasize the "smart" part first, and then to include the factual part of "autistic" second.

It has taken many discussions with him over the last 7 years to help hom come to some understanding of exactly what it means to have an autistic brain, We have had to talk many times about the fact that: autism is a reason why some of his reactions and behavoirs are different from those of his friends, but that we do not consider his autism to be an excuse for him to get away with bad behavior. We have always taken that attitude with him, even before he was able to pronounce the word - sutistic. But as soon as he WAS able, we gave him the word, as well. I view it as our first step toward his ability to learn to self-advocate. Just like everything else in his world, this will take many repetitions and much practice, but I have had to recognize that I will not always be here to advocate for him.

Therefore, I must work now to help him to find his voice. In order to do that, we had to give him the words. IMHO, if your child is able to pronounce the word, then that is the time to start to give your child his or her own voice. That way you will, hopefully, have many years to help your child expand the repertoire of self-advocacy. It's never too soon to start.

I can't honestly say that I have thought much about this, quess I should. Zach isn't really able to understand yet that he is different from the other kids. He is in his own little world most of the time. I expect him to ask me someday why he is different, but I have never thought about how to explain it.

i am unsure about this one myself. my son just turned 4 today and i wonder when and how is the best time to tell him.

Mightmo1, I have a 10yr old boy and yes we did tell him as soon as he could understand about 7yr. We told him that his brain thinks differently and that it's no better or worse than his sisters just different. Then I explained how all three of my children are lefties and that it is just the way God made you to write with your left rather than the right. I also told him about cancer patients and diabetics how they have to take medicine. We are extremely open about his autism with him and all our family and friends, I feel it's nothing to hide or be afraid of. Now, we never discuss his IEP's or PPT's in front of him or discuss it with him, I don't want him to feel like he's inferior to the other children. I have to say though he has a paraprofessional this year and he wanted to know why and I told him because sometimes his thoughts get lost and his mind wanders and Mrs. K is there to keep him focused. One running joke in our house is that when Stephen is having a really off day he'll say to me" Now you can't double dose my medicine Mom" and even he laughs. He knows he's different we've talked about it. I don't believe it's good to keep anything from them, if they're doubting themselves they need to know they can talk to you. Also, we never define Stephen by Autism, we say that's how his brain works not who he is.

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