I have the same problem and am having some professional help who am seeing tomorrow. They suggested looking on autistic websites at distraction techniques. I find it difficult to do this like this morning when I took my son swimming. people were stepping over him as he kicked and screamed.

I will have a look to see if can come up with anything

june

when my son was that age, i found that his tantrums were largely due to him not being able to let us know what he wanted. at that age, i used a pec schedule. i had one for daily routine as well as emotions..... happy, sad, mad etc.

it took him awhile to get it but he finally got the hang of it.

Yes the people supporting me have taken photos of everyday things to use for the pecs system. Another factor may be tiredness. I know my son is a lot worse when he is not getting enough sleep

There is a book called Freedom from Meltdowns by Dr Travis Thompson. We met him in person and this man KNOWS autism. He was able to describe our kiddos prior to even meeting them.

Meltdowns is a form of communication. Even apes/monkeys display the same kind of behavior (sorry, I found that interesting).
But just like an infant who can't speak, will cry to get what they need. They are communicating.
So, take a few steps back prior to the meltdown. What was it that prompted it? (aka trigger)
Was it something you said? (the word NO is a biggie if you haven't discovered it yet)
Was is something you had done or didn't do?
Is your son rigid when it comes to his surroundings?

All of these things are hard for a non verbal child. Here are a few things we started to do after we figured out what our kids were saying to us.

1) We started using pecs. (visual cards) to help our kids express what they wanted/didn't want.
2) allowed them a few moments to be upset. Then we put them to work. (I understand this isn't always an option for others). But we would hand our kids a water bottle and paper towel and told them to go clean something or go to their rooms. This allowed them to get upset at the choices...not us.
3) ABA style therapy. I can't stress this enough. This intensive behavioral modification therapy helps any person with autism learn what is and is not appropriate. If your insurance does not cover it, check to see if you can't get on state medical assistance, if they don't cover it, you can purchase books and apply it yourself.
ABA is a lot like how you would train an animal.
One example being if your child does something bad/naughty, then you immediately bring them to their room. You shut the door and don't say anything. Just like how the dog would learn...people learn the same way. They'll make the connection between tossing their cup on the floor and going somewhere undesired. The more they do it, the more they'll find themselves in a place they don't like. And they'll learn not to toss the cup onto the floor.

ABA is intensive. But it works. I've talked with all sorts of professionals, other people I know who've had their children go through it. All have shared that after a couple of years they can take their children out in public....with out assistance. I'm guessing that going out in public is creating meltdowns also, which is building a wall around your family. Yet it's imperative that you still take him out in public.
I can't even begin to tell you how many times we were laying on the floor at Target with our son preventing him from bashing his head on the floor. For our guy, the lights/ sounds/ crowds would trigger public meltdowns. Now, he begs to go to the store. And he's 5yrs old. I can now ask him if he's struggling if he's having a hard time and if he needs a break. We then go somewhere to sit and get away from things.

The book above will describe all of this. It will also explain why it happens. It's a great resource and has turned our lives around for the better.

Soon enough, you'll be looking back at all of this and wondering next how in the heck your gonna potty train your son. But trust me, that too will resolve itself.

Wishing you the best of luck learning the new language of meltdowns. Think of it this way...it's a helluva lot easier & faster than learning Spanish/ French!