Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group
Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.
Hi Everyone! My name is Erik and I'm 20 years old and am new to this group and decided to join is just now because up until this point I think I've been in denial that something is just "off" about me. Be warned before hand that this is probably going to be a very long post!
I've never gone to a doctor to ask if I I have Autism and obviously my parents never suspected I did. I think they look at some of my success like my good Grade Point Average(GPA) and think I'm normal even though I don't think they know a lot about me. For a while I'll forget about my suspicions about me having autism and then something in particular will happen and I'll reconfirm my suspicions. Usually I will just dismiss the thought that I do have autism or say to myself "well if you do then you do, and you've got to deal with it". Well not today...I don't even know if there's anything I can do about it but I'm tired of playing the game of pretending I don't think I have something that I think I really do. That's why I joined this group.
So, I briefly read about Autism/Autism Spectrum Disorder and it sounds kind of confusing because there's so many different types or forms of autism and there's varying symptoms with different people. Honesty I don't know which form of autism I have or if I even have it(highly unlikely) and was hoping you guys could help with that. I'll name some of the most noticeable symptoms and see what you guys think.
1. I'm extremely Monotone. Looking back now, I remember me getting the special "privilege" of leaving class in elementary school at a certain time every day and going to see a speech therapist. I remember practicing saying words with certain letters but maybe they were also trying to make me less monotone. Anyway, I wasn't aware of me being monotone untill middle school. I don't remember how they phrased it but some people started telling me I either talked funny, the same all the time or something along those lines. I always thought I sounded like a normal person. I can't hear myself talk as loudly or in depth as I could if you spoke to me but to me it doesn't sound like i'm talking monotone. But I've recorded myself on tapes or on my phone and listened to how my voice and sure enough I am. Like I said, when I talk it feels normal and like I'm not being monotone. Since I can't even tell I'm being monotone,I just flat our don't know how to even attempt to fix this.
2. I'm bad in literally every type of social situation and specifically performance/evaluation related situations. Here are some examples. I love basketball and I'm fairly decent when I'm just "practicing". Then a pick up game starts and suddenly I'm not good anymore. When other people get involved and there's the interaction of other players it's like all the sudden I lost my dribbling ability, shooting ability, etc. If the game is competitive meaning people are actually trying then I see some drop off from my practice level to the game but I see a HUGE drop off in ability if the game isn't competitive. When no one's playing defense or competing or just having fun it should be easier to score and stuff but I completely SUCK.
I also play horrible if someone really good is playing on either my team or the other during the game. It's like I try to impress him but end up doing worse than I normally would have.
Another example is that I struggle doing what should be easy jobs like cashiering. It's hard to give specific examples of what happens but in the past when I've had jobs cashiering, it's like I get stupider the bigger the line is.
When I have a presentation for school, I prepare religiously and have memorized what I'm going to say but when I give the presentation it typically goes bad and even if it doesn't, it's significantly different than how I practiced when giving it.
There's a billion more examples but lets leave it at that.
3. I'm Always nervous. I attribute all of these poor social performances mentioned to mental factors like being nervous. I get so nervous that I start over analyzing or under analyzing the situation and it makes me do things differently than I would if there wasn't any pressure or other people involved. I'm nervous to a degree when even talking to my friends or individual people. The more people in the situation and the higher their status(I.E good/great basketball player, Boss, Professor,etc) the worse my performance will be in a situation.
4. I struggle with all the "little things". Things that are easy for most people are hard for me. I forget all the time to brush my teeth, take a bath, keep my living space clean, etc. I pretty much get done only with going to school, homework, and working out every day. All the extra stuff people do rarely happens with me either for time sakes or because I don't remember or want to.
5. I struggle doing "boring" things. What should be a boring one hour homework assignment ends up taking over five hours because I get distracted or interested in procrastinating doing it. Often times i'll do like one minute of work followed by 20 or 30 minutes of pointless boring internet browsing that is boring but funner than the assignment.
6. I have a few obsessions. For working out,I think about literally every detail that you can think of. I always make a workout schedule with specific exercises and I am constantly thinking about making gains/increases/improvements. I basically try to plan my training to perfection. Same goes for fishing. I don't really consider what I do during fishing abnormal, I think most fishermen think about what to use, what spot to go, what time, etc. What I think is weird that I do is I analyze every detail of the trip. If I missed a fish I won't just say well next time I'll be ready...I think into huge details about what I could have done differently. Then I'll obsessively envision that fishing trip for days where practically it I think about is it.
Additionally, I'm a little old to be doing it but I love building dams in rivers. It's hard to explain but it's like an obsession.
Then I also obsess about getting good grades/ doing well in school and spend a significant amount of time on school. Even though I get good grades, I think because I have some type of autism that anyone who put in the work I do would have a 4.0 GPA every time no sweat and would have more time to do things outside of school.
7. I overreact to everything negative that happens. If I can't figure out a homework question or assignment rather than treating the situation like oh well I might not pass the class and have to retake it again I treat it like it's a matter of life or death. I also really hate smoking and won't say anything to them but I'll get extremely grumpy inside of my head if I have walk by someone smoking. I have a billion other overreactions than these.
8. Don't make friends easily or do things with the ones that are my friends. Lots of people will talk to me or be nice to me because I'm really nice but it's usually a one time conversation and it's done. I have a hard time starting up conversations with others. I also don't really do anything with my friends. I place so much emphasis on going to school, doing homework, not missing a workout, and going fishing that I rarely contact any friends.
So this was a very long post and the scary thing is there's a billion other things I could write about but this will give you a good idea of me. So what do you guys think? Is anyone similar to me, does anyone have a suspicion for my diagnosis? I'd love to hear your guys's comments!
I've never gone to a doctor to ask if I I have Autism and obviously my parents never suspected I did. I think they look at some of my success like my good Grade Point Average(GPA) and think I'm normal even though I don't think they know a lot about me. For a while I'll forget about my suspicions about me having autism and then something in particular will happen and I'll reconfirm my suspicions. Usually I will just dismiss the thought that I do have autism or say to myself "well if you do then you do, and you've got to deal with it". Well not today...I don't even know if there's anything I can do about it but I'm tired of playing the game of pretending I don't think I have something that I think I really do. That's why I joined this group.
So, I briefly read about Autism/Autism Spectrum Disorder and it sounds kind of confusing because there's so many different types or forms of autism and there's varying symptoms with different people. Honesty I don't know which form of autism I have or if I even have it(highly unlikely) and was hoping you guys could help with that. I'll name some of the most noticeable symptoms and see what you guys think.
1. I'm extremely Monotone. Looking back now, I remember me getting the special "privilege" of leaving class in elementary school at a certain time every day and going to see a speech therapist. I remember practicing saying words with certain letters but maybe they were also trying to make me less monotone. Anyway, I wasn't aware of me being monotone untill middle school. I don't remember how they phrased it but some people started telling me I either talked funny, the same all the time or something along those lines. I always thought I sounded like a normal person. I can't hear myself talk as loudly or in depth as I could if you spoke to me but to me it doesn't sound like i'm talking monotone. But I've recorded myself on tapes or on my phone and listened to how my voice and sure enough I am. Like I said, when I talk it feels normal and like I'm not being monotone. Since I can't even tell I'm being monotone,I just flat our don't know how to even attempt to fix this.
2. I'm bad in literally every type of social situation and specifically performance/evaluation related situations. Here are some examples. I love basketball and I'm fairly decent when I'm just "practicing". Then a pick up game starts and suddenly I'm not good anymore. When other people get involved and there's the interaction of other players it's like all the sudden I lost my dribbling ability, shooting ability, etc. If the game is competitive meaning people are actually trying then I see some drop off from my practice level to the game but I see a HUGE drop off in ability if the game isn't competitive. When no one's playing defense or competing or just having fun it should be easier to score and stuff but I completely SUCK.
I also play horrible if someone really good is playing on either my team or the other during the game. It's like I try to impress him but end up doing worse than I normally would have.
Another example is that I struggle doing what should be easy jobs like cashiering. It's hard to give specific examples of what happens but in the past when I've had jobs cashiering, it's like I get stupider the bigger the line is.
When I have a presentation for school, I prepare religiously and have memorized what I'm going to say but when I give the presentation it typically goes bad and even if it doesn't, it's significantly different than how I practiced when giving it.
There's a billion more examples but lets leave it at that.
3. I'm Always nervous. I attribute all of these poor social performances mentioned to mental factors like being nervous. I get so nervous that I start over analyzing or under analyzing the situation and it makes me do things differently than I would if there wasn't any pressure or other people involved. I'm nervous to a degree when even talking to my friends or individual people. The more people in the situation and the higher their status(I.E good/great basketball player, Boss, Professor,etc) the worse my performance will be in a situation.
4. I struggle with all the "little things". Things that are easy for most people are hard for me. I forget all the time to brush my teeth, take a bath, keep my living space clean, etc. I pretty much get done only with going to school, homework, and working out every day. All the extra stuff people do rarely happens with me either for time sakes or because I don't remember or want to.
5. I struggle doing "boring" things. What should be a boring one hour homework assignment ends up taking over five hours because I get distracted or interested in procrastinating doing it. Often times i'll do like one minute of work followed by 20 or 30 minutes of pointless boring internet browsing that is boring but funner than the assignment.
6. I have a few obsessions. For working out,I think about literally every detail that you can think of. I always make a workout schedule with specific exercises and I am constantly thinking about making gains/increases/improvements. I basically try to plan my training to perfection. Same goes for fishing. I don't really consider what I do during fishing abnormal, I think most fishermen think about what to use, what spot to go, what time, etc. What I think is weird that I do is I analyze every detail of the trip. If I missed a fish I won't just say well next time I'll be ready...I think into huge details about what I could have done differently. Then I'll obsessively envision that fishing trip for days where practically it I think about is it.
Additionally, I'm a little old to be doing it but I love building dams in rivers. It's hard to explain but it's like an obsession.
Then I also obsess about getting good grades/ doing well in school and spend a significant amount of time on school. Even though I get good grades, I think because I have some type of autism that anyone who put in the work I do would have a 4.0 GPA every time no sweat and would have more time to do things outside of school.
7. I overreact to everything negative that happens. If I can't figure out a homework question or assignment rather than treating the situation like oh well I might not pass the class and have to retake it again I treat it like it's a matter of life or death. I also really hate smoking and won't say anything to them but I'll get extremely grumpy inside of my head if I have walk by someone smoking. I have a billion other overreactions than these.
8. Don't make friends easily or do things with the ones that are my friends. Lots of people will talk to me or be nice to me because I'm really nice but it's usually a one time conversation and it's done. I have a hard time starting up conversations with others. I also don't really do anything with my friends. I place so much emphasis on going to school, doing homework, not missing a workout, and going fishing that I rarely contact any friends.
So this was a very long post and the scary thing is there's a billion other things I could write about but this will give you a good idea of me. So what do you guys think? Is anyone similar to me, does anyone have a suspicion for my diagnosis? I'd love to hear your guys's comments!
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
No one here is qualified and while a number of people are might say "yes it sounds like it" they are probably not familiar with all the other disorders that present similarly.
If you are concerned, please find someone who can do a full assessment for you. I don't know where you are - if you are in the UK then it's fairly straightforward, ask your GP for an assessment at your local health centre - if you are in the US it may be a bit more difficult as it seems they are less keen in doing this.
however,i will give you my opinion.here are many ppl that don't have the diagnosis but suspect they're autistic.i read their stories and most of them really seamed to me that they qualify for autism diagnosis.but,i don't think you are one of them.although,i will say again,if you have doubts,contact a doctor.
1-I'm an extremely poor visual learner/ doing verbal instructions. If there's a demonstration for something...I.E a lab for school then I usually won't remember the instructions and will have to ask someone how to do something. 2- I'm just "slower" than everyone else. I have a tough time telling when someone is being serious versus joking. I tend to take things very literal and later I find out they were joking. Additionally, I often don't realize/understand things until well after other people do.
3- I lack visualization/imagery in my mind. If you told me to picture a dog then I usually can't produce an image in my head and if I do it's very temporary or or unclear. I'm pretty good at drawing with a visual but if you told me to draw a dog from memory then it would look like a preschool kid did it. 4-I play with my tongue. l never really noticed/thought about it untill reading about autism but I have a HUGE tongue and I'll try stretching it out making it touch the bottom of my chin and then I will bring it up to my nose and smell it. It's habitual and I'll do it without thinking about it at random times throughout the day.
I've read about a few random threads and I recall seeing some people talk about taking autism spectrum tests online. I just wondered how accurate these questions are?
Another question I have for you guys is: is there any disadvantages of being evaluated and confirmed for having autism spectrum disorder? Will I still be able to go into the career I want or even be allowed to go go to the University that I do? I'm worried that if I was tested positive that I would be discriminated against in some way. Basically will me testing positive and the rest of the world finding out have any impacts? In other words, would it be better for me to not get tested for it and just continue struggling more than others but eventually getting to be where I need?