HI there and welcome. My son was four when he was diagnosed. some of the things that you can watch out for are things like does she make eye contact? Does she show anxiety or frustration if there is a change in routine? how does she play with other kids or does she prefer to play alone?

my son is also very affectionate but he has a lot of trouble with social skills and relating to children his own age. He much prefers adults to kids. He also has to have routine and if there is a change in it, then he shows a lot of anxiety. A lot of what i used to call "temper tantrums" are actually just their way of showing anxiety or frustration.

There are a lot of old posts here that should be of some help. Was she diagnosed with PDD-nos or high functioning autism or asperger's.

at this age, it is very important to get early intervention services which your school system should be able to help you with.

Hi Terry, I'm Barbara and my grandson is on the spectrum, he turned 4 today. We say little things starting around 2. The ten mile stare, some flapping, lining up his toys, spinning them, delay in speech except in repeating lines from books.... The night I got worried for real was when he stood there mostly looking into middle space and went into a loop on a story he knew and I could not distract him to stop him. He just paused at one point of the story, looked me in the eye and smiled, then right back into the loop with the eye contact and smile at exactly the same place. This went on for over 15 minutes.My daughter had him tested shortly after and indeed he was on the spectrum.

Ryan also has always run up and kissed me, brought me books to read and we played our silly games with smiles and giggles. Our biggest connection is through books and we do still communicate through lines of his favorites but we now have ways to stop it from becoming a loop. We still don't have typical conversation but as a grandparent I have a little extra slack to just let us be us, as we have always been.

As your granddaughter gets involved with programs you will be set to feel you cannot do anything right. ABA is very rigid especially at the start and I found parts of our games had suddenly become banned. One thing I fought back on. When I came into the house he always ran up, hugged and kissed me, then recited a line from his current favorite book to which I gave the next line. When I was told not to do that at all I had to say no, that is him telling me he remembers the fun we had last time I was there and I am telling him the same.

As all children do, he has grown out of that and has words of his own to use now that are appropriate greetings. There are probably many here that will disagree with me, but during the turmoil of teachers and programs I wanted one thing to stay the same between us till he was ready to let it go. I didn't let him keep going in a loop, but it was a conversation that made sence to us.

Good Luck and patience with everyone. As your daughter learns, ask her to teach you as well, but remember playing without rules is important sometimes too.

thank you so much for replying it feels good to know there r others that r going threw the same thing... hazel has not been diagnosed officially yet so we do not know what staged of autism she has yet. she has her routine she loves watching videos for example dora is one of her favorites. she has her own tv with dvd she has a corner of the room filled with her favorite toys.. she loves to bounce up and down on her bed that makes her laugh... i received a video today of her coloring i think she is going to be quite the artist. when she see me she runs to me and gives me a hug and grabs by hand and takes me into her play area and pulls me down to sit on the floor and then she comes and sits on my lap and pulls my arms around her and we play all kind of different games she loves to be tickled and turning in circles and also she love for me to clap with her...

a little over a year ago hazel had gotten real sick and was on a ventalator for 11 days. we almost lost her...

well she love to ride in a car however she freaks out when she has to go to the doctor we try and make it as comfortable as possible. she has a psp that we take with us where ever she goes anywhere and if she has to go the er she has a wagon with her favorite blanket and toys and books she does very well with.. but if we set foot into a office she screams and cries and doesnt stop until we leave and get back in the car.. see she doesnt talk at all and she will be 4 next month..

my point to all this is when she is exposed to a place that she doesnt feel comfortable at she throws this tantrum and when i took her back to the car i turned around to talk to her in the car it was like she was gone.just for a moment it was like she checked out until my daughter came back and i turned the car on and she was back with us..... i started thinking this has happen so many different times... she does like to play alone however she will play with us.. she doesnt like my other grand daughter and she does ignore other kids that she comes in contact with. theres only one kid she liked to play with that was her cousin shes 6 and she is hazels size. see hazel is turning 4 but she is as big as a 6 or 7 yr old...

hazel has some appointments with some doctors to get her diagnosed with in the next couple of weeks.. and after that i hope we can start helping her to talk or some how communicate with us.. thank you so much for listening and helping me threw this cause i gotta tell u that when i saw her eyes in that moment it was like she left the building until she was back in her safe zone it really got to me...

and i like what you said i think we should do what the child feels comfortable with dont get me wrong i think if thats the way they communicate shouldnt we work off that

i just added pics of my grand babies check them out

As I said, Ryan and I communicated first through books. The rhymes of Dr Suess, exaggerated, acted out and laughed over. Green eggs and Ham is a good one. There is also a 5 little monkeys book with like 5 stories in it. We love the 5 little monkeys buy a car. Reading fast in certain parts,louder, softer, letting her fill in certain words after they know the story well enough, it's okay if she says the word or line more times than the book says. Making the words fun opens doors sometimes.

I just got Ryan an iPad on eBay. He has been using my iPhone, also known as the myPhone when he has it, with a fun version of Old McDonald. I know not everyone can access these devices, but youtube has tons of fun stuff too.

I guess I try to channel some of the behaviors into games.

she does love books however she like to look at them it looks like she is really reading them.. she does have a psp which she loves to carry it with her... my daughter started hanging coloring posters up on the wall and she love to color only if its pin to the wall.. i think its so neat that your grandson does the book thing... next time i see hazel i will try doing as you said and maybe she will catch on..
does he talk

Ryan has started talking some but it is far away from a conversation. He doesn't often answer questions unless it is a rote answer or yes and no. He does ask for things. It is slow and deliberate and he has to really want it. School has helped tremendously with this, but there is a long way to go. Each word is precious. Sentences a dream. For us, lines from books were his real first sentences. I do envy you that Hazel colors. Ryan shows very little interest there and has not yet mastered a good grip on crayons or pencils.

Ryan also loves music and videos. In some of them we will pick funny lines from his movies and repeat them with the movie and after. When he loved How to train your Dragon there were a few lines that were said by everyone lol. He liked Toothless so much and somehow he understood that the people named the dragon Toothless. When a cat wandered in and stayed on a lark Ryan's parents asked him what the cat's name was. He said Toothless and so the cat was named. This was sooooo exciting. He has called the cat that ever since so he did indeed name it.

It is still hard to know what he gets and knows because autism gets in the way. Sometimes it just pops out so do not underestimate her ever. Hugs, Barbara

your right i never under estimate hazel cause she amazes me everyday... in so many ways hazel seems like a normal kid and then in some other ways we can see the autism take over... hazel does have so many favorite parts in her videos.. however she will tell you if theres a part on tv she doesnt like such as she turns the tv off or go thru her dvds and pick one out and bring it to us to switch it out..
like i said she doesnt talk but she shows us what she wants or needs sometimes... but since she cant talk or tell us anything when she gets sick.. she does have health problems such as asthma and bad allergies and some other health issues so that makes it even harder on my daughter... i offer often to babysit to give them a brake cause i think it helps with the day to day stuff if they get time off... and not to mention i love spending every minute i can with her. and i like to think she does to//

well i saw hazel today.... and i got the biggest hug from her and that made my whole day.. tomorrow im gonna spend the day with my girls and with my grand daughters... i cant wait,,, i keep you informed on how we do

Well first of all (and no offence to you) but i would not call this a disease. This is a difference and sometimes it seems more like a curse then a blessing, but they have their phases and at times it really is a blessing.
When Gerrit was first diagnosed it was difficult to understand. He is diagnosed Autistic, but he is now high functioning after going through major ABA therapy/
Thats when a therapist comes into our home (most of the time) and works on on one at helping children with transitions. Gerrit couldnt stand when a movie was over, or when he had to leave someones home without a major melt down.
He would look and seem like he wasnt even there. Staring off. Now in times when they are older this can help them because they can phase the whole world out and concentrate super well on what they want to.
(my husband does this who has Aspbergers, also under the ASD "umbrella")
Its not the end of the world, although most people do go through the stages of grief because life just isnt at all what they imagined. However it makes you stronger, and when you connect with other its like your in a different world where they can relate and its a different normalcy.
Take heart, this can be an amazing this. And your grandaughter can be one amazing woman one day. :)