i can tell a autistic meltdown from a good ol 5 yr old " i want what I want" fit from a mile away. i guess because i am in grandma mode lol! anyways, usually a meltdown comes out of nowhere and has very unreasonable 'reasons' in adams case it was things like the boy he thought he saw or towers or not getting enough things printed on the computer after printing a dozen of the same picture. regualr 5 yr old fits is when they dont get what they want. in any event during a fit or meltdown i would take adam to his bed and laydown with him, sometimes i even had to carry him, and sometimes i had to hold him down in the bed until he clamed down. i always laid down with him and talked softly and calmly with him telling him whatever needed to be said at the time, like, "adam there is no boy" sometimes he would want to talk about it and we would have a conversation and i would explain to him why he could not do what ever it was he was having a fit or meltdown about. it took several months and unfortuneately medication to stop this meltdowns. he still has the fits, they are not near as severe and are always no different then the fits my grandkids who are close to his age of younger has so i just treat him like i would my grandkids, the word no is very hard on adam because i dont think any one ever used it with him before lol! he hates that word but he also knows that when mimi says no then there is no amount of fits or meltdowns that will change it to yes. oh i have to say that i got this great advise from another member, stevensmom, she has taught me many, many things about our kids along with everyone else here at DS.

Hi: Well I can certainly relate to how you feel. Sean like your son can tell me what he wants, but if he doesn't get it same thing tantrum/meltdown. I think that even though they can ask what they want that sometimes its harder for them to comprehend that sometimes you cannot always get what you want which in turn causes the tantrum. In addition to that, I know that there is no reasoning with Sean. You know what I mean, You can't have that toy now, but maybe next time. Sometimes to many words that we use cloud up in there little heads.

In any event do you work with a behaviorist in your school district, because that is who I went to for help. We decided to do the good old time out approach and for the most part it works, only problem is, is that your not always home. Anyway, sorry I couldn't be more help and I feel for you. Denise

been there done that! :) He'll take a chocolate bar off the shelf and just assume he'll get it. I have to pay for it, because usually the wrapper id off already, but I'll say, "gee thanks for the chocolate buddy," and I'll eat it in front of him. I tell him, "you didn't ask, you just took it. I paid for it so now it's mine. Next time ask me first and I'll give it to you." It might seem harsh, but it's the only thing that seems to work.

challenger: yay for you! treat him just like you would an atypical kid!

I always try to work in prevention so the melt downs are not as frequent.

I appreciate all the input. but what about the dicipline part? How do you discipline anatuistic child. Iunderstand thatthey dont exactly process causeand effect like other children do, but I know he understands what I'm saying to him. He knows what NO means and DONT. My husband is a little too quick to spank....and I really dont think that does anything but teach him it's okay to hit when your mad. Any suggestions?

Ok: Well I hear what you are saying, this is what our behaviorist told us to do with Sean when he was acting out. If you are in a store and he wants something tell him no and if he still continues then you have to just leave the store and not give him what he wants. No if ands or buts. If you are at home he needs to know that there will be a consiquence, for instance if Sean acts out he goes into his room and I set the timer for him close the door and I do not say anything, because any kind of communication is what they crave even negative. I set the timer, shut the door, I have have the safety nobs on the door knob so he can't turn it, I have a gate across his door just in case he gets the door open and he has to stay in there until the timer goes off. My behaviorist instructed me to open the door (whoever does the disipline opens the door) and not to speak to him. That is what I do and it has worked and continues to work it gets a little touchy if your out, but we just leave if he acts up. Leaving makes him really upset so usually the threat will make him stop because he knows we will leave. Anyway I hope this helps you. Good Luck Denise. PS: I know this is hard, but you will get through it.