Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group

Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.

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mamawx4 09/25/2010

I haven't been on here for long time ,so some of you may know me and some may not.I am adopting my 2 grandsons,Jasin [2] and Jose [3]. both boys have alot of issues due to their mother's [my daughter] drug abuse and mental illnesses.I have had both boys since birth and have never regretted taking them.They are wonderfull,energetic little boys.They sure keep us busy..lol..Jose is autistic and has sensory problems as well.It seems the older he gets the more both present their self.

Jose is going to preschool and that is helping with his social problems but we are seeing alot more melt downs now.If anything what so ever changes in his rutine he just goes to peices.We have to take him about a half mile down the road we live on to catch the bus with 2 other little boys who live near us.He has made friends with these little boys but if one of them don't show up at the bus stop it really throws him off for the rest of the day.It kind of seems like these little boys are his security when he is away at school.The teacher even told us that she had to move all 3 of the boys so they could sit together because Jose refused to do anything without them.These boys have helped him in a lot of ways.Thye refuse to let him withdraw into himself like he does lot of times.They both will take his hand and urge him to play with them.His teacher told us that if Jose is having a melt down the other boys usually can talk him down and get him to listen.Now mind you these are 3 & 4 year old boys and already they learning how to help their friend.Jose can't stand his hands to get dirty and he was getting upset one day on the playground at school because the teachers wouldn't let him go in to wash his hands,one of the boys had a bottle of water because he dehydrates real easy and poured the water on Jose's hands so he could wash them and then both of the other boys stayed by him and rubbed his back until he calmed down not letting any one else near him.Thier teacher said she had never in all her years teaching seen anything like that from children so young.

Is this healthy for him and the other boys? Should I be concerned about this attachment to the other boys? From what I have been told he doesn't talk to any of the other kids just these 2. How can I help him deal with it when one or both of the other boys have to miss school? Would asking the mother and grandmother [one of the boys is also being raised by his grandmother] of the other 2 to call me if they are going to be out so I can talk to him about it? They know about his problems and have explained it as best they could to the boys.

Kansass 09/25/2010

I don't see anything unhealthy about it, and I also think being able to tell him when one of the other kids won't be there would help him. Our son needs to be forewarned about things to avoid meltdowns and if they are willing to tell you ahead of time it would be helpful. My sons peer group is very helpful and a lot of the girls like to mother hen him. The nice thing about kids is that they don't have all of the social hangups that adults do and I've discovered that the other kids do really well with my son. I hope this helps in some way.

deleted_user 09/25/2010

Oh, how sweet. They are so young. This happened to my grandson, too. He had special friends that would help him. It's so true, young children don't have the hang ups that us older folk have about disabilities. Lol. May I suggest that your boys get extra sleep, if at all possible. This I have found to be especially helpful with meltdowns. I also found it helpful to give ample snacks, when possible. They are so young. It will take time him to understand about things changing around him. The suggestion that Kansass gave is a good one. Talk about his friend not being around. Something like. "Timmy sometimes comes to school, Yes, and sometimes he does not go to school, no. I deliberately leave out words like "him, her, it, they" These are words that children with autism often have difficulty understanding. Talk in a simple manner with as few words as possible and try to get him to look at you. I practiced this with my gs for a couple of years before he was able to look at me, so be patient. As for the dependency. I find it to be very human that he is seeking out help. I believe that is good. It is better than isolated himself. He is reaching out well, I think. Sometimes children with autism bond very close with others, it's very common. It's hard for them to be in groups. I would talk to the teacher and not have her restrict his seat placement all the time to one seating. Practice makes perfect. Thank goodness he has a caring teacher.

Blessings

sambod 09/26/2010

i don't see anything wrong with it. in some of my son's classes over the years, after getting permission from the other parents, they had someone come in and talk about autism and how it affects my son. it helped.

as far as the dirty hands on the playground. I buy those individual wipes in a package that he can keep in his pockets. I have to tear the package just a little bit so he can get into it but those help too.

deleted_user 09/27/2010

Keep us posted! I'm so interested in seeing him grow and learn.

mamawx4 09/29/2010

I talked to gs's teacher today about several of the issues I have been worried about.I found out that they had assigned one teacher who is specially trained to deal with special needs children to help him.There are 2 seperate classes in his school and she has one in each class that she helps.As the 2 classes does different things at different times she can rotate between them,being with each of teh children when they need her most.The teachers brought up that Jose has some sencetativity to loud noises so thay have been taking him outside before they have firedrills and even calls down they whole class when they get too loud for his comfort.The teacher assigned to him has even been helping him to catch up with the rest of the class on his numbers,abc's, and colors.They also let me know that because he is one of the yougest in the class and will be in headstatr 2 years they are not pushing him as hard as the other children.His teacher also said that the day that he had the problem about washing his hands she was not there and has now made sure that he is always to be allowed to wash when he needs to.So it seems that things are working them selves out with the school.We will be having a IEP meeting as soon as they finish some testing that they are doing with him.

deleted_user 09/30/2010

Worry not about the dangers of attachement but rather focus on the obvious benefits to all three boys. You and I have very different concerns about the development of relationships. For my son Joey I worry about the lack of friends that he feels a connection to or how others may treat him due to his autism. Up to this point Joey has had no real issues with classmates but I expect this will change soon as he exits elementary school and begins to attempt socializing with teens.

deleted_user 10/05/2010

i dont see anything wrong with it. my autistic son is very attached to his older brother. when they were little and my oldest was starting school jacob cried for 3 hours because he didnt want him to go. and that went on for months. then when he started school he made one really close friend and it was kind of the same thing. very attached and daniel is who got him through the day. but when third grade rolled around and daniel wasnt in his class i was in a panic. but it was for no reason he adjusted just fine. ashley was the new mother hen and helped guide him through the day. when 6th grade started he realized he didnt need ashley anymore or anyone for that matter and is getting straight As. so there is hope and this is just a phase. it might be a long one but they do out grow it over time. just give him lots of love and make sure he gets all the help he needs at school with teachers and social workers. and OTs he will be just fine.

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