Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group
Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.
...it's a long convoluted story about why Mom married Dad. She told me once that she knew he was different, but thought perhaps it was brain damage and she'd just figure him out.
My sister was born with what has never been described in any more detail than "organic personality disorder." Mom did all kinds of research trying to figure out what was wrong and what would work... and for years thought that Janie (pseudonym I use for my sister) had several autistic traits.
The explanation I heard all through childhood was that they were very much alike, Dad and Janie, just that Janie's case was more severe. It didn't make much sense to me when I first heard it, but became more clear as I aged.
From discussions I've had with my therapist, it seems reasonable to operate on the assumption that Dad is an undiagnosed Asperger's and that Janie may be a High Functioning Autistic. Whenever I use strategies with them based on those assumptions they tend to work really well. His best words of wisdom to me about them: "they feel deeply, but differently."
Growing up with those two definitely shaped me, for good and for ill. When I recall my childhood it feels like I grew up in the middle of an emotional hurricane, a decades long unending scream. On the other hand, I am now an elementary school music teacher and for years have had a soft spot in my heart for special needs students (Mother's life-long example of compassion).
It's left me with odd sets of baggage I can't talk about without feeling selfish. My current fears revolve around my aging parents and what happens when they reach the end of life. If it's Mom who goes first (and I HATE that I have to think about this) I will have two abnormally functioning adults on my hands whose needs will be so great I fear being overwhelmed by them (there will be no room for my own grief). There IS a reason I live 600 miles away from them. I do, however, stay in touch with them weekly, and have frequently spent large blocks of summer vacations helping them out.
I suppose it's not so bad as I worry - Janie is in a supervised apartment and has had the benefit of decent therapy, has a support system, and gets help when she needs it. Dad has no such network; when Mom fell a couple of summers ago (she's fine now) he handled it much worse than Janie did.
So I'm wondering - is there any one else here with a similar set of experiences?
Brian
My sister was born with what has never been described in any more detail than "organic personality disorder." Mom did all kinds of research trying to figure out what was wrong and what would work... and for years thought that Janie (pseudonym I use for my sister) had several autistic traits.
The explanation I heard all through childhood was that they were very much alike, Dad and Janie, just that Janie's case was more severe. It didn't make much sense to me when I first heard it, but became more clear as I aged.
From discussions I've had with my therapist, it seems reasonable to operate on the assumption that Dad is an undiagnosed Asperger's and that Janie may be a High Functioning Autistic. Whenever I use strategies with them based on those assumptions they tend to work really well. His best words of wisdom to me about them: "they feel deeply, but differently."
Growing up with those two definitely shaped me, for good and for ill. When I recall my childhood it feels like I grew up in the middle of an emotional hurricane, a decades long unending scream. On the other hand, I am now an elementary school music teacher and for years have had a soft spot in my heart for special needs students (Mother's life-long example of compassion).
It's left me with odd sets of baggage I can't talk about without feeling selfish. My current fears revolve around my aging parents and what happens when they reach the end of life. If it's Mom who goes first (and I HATE that I have to think about this) I will have two abnormally functioning adults on my hands whose needs will be so great I fear being overwhelmed by them (there will be no room for my own grief). There IS a reason I live 600 miles away from them. I do, however, stay in touch with them weekly, and have frequently spent large blocks of summer vacations helping them out.
I suppose it's not so bad as I worry - Janie is in a supervised apartment and has had the benefit of decent therapy, has a support system, and gets help when she needs it. Dad has no such network; when Mom fell a couple of summers ago (she's fine now) he handled it much worse than Janie did.
So I'm wondering - is there any one else here with a similar set of experiences?
Brian
I do worry about what if...but I have to keep moving forward and I am putting alot of plans into place for the boys futures.......
My father found it very difficult and sometimes embarrassing dealing with my brothers AS. He felt that somehow he had caused it or that if there was something that he had done differently that my brother would have turned out "normal".
In a recent post i wrote how my brother has overcome odds and lives on his own and supports himself. Iam proud of how well he has done.
I come from a family of 6 childern and our life was less than perfect with his AS being the least of our problems. I feel now that we are all survivors. My father has passed now and my mom has her life to herself. I feel that things have turned out all right for her. I cant imagine if she had gone first how things would have been. I know the dread that you feel.