attachment disorder in adults Community Group

A place for adults with attachment disorder to talk about experiences, past and present, how it affects their daily lives, and give the support they can to others.

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This is so, so horrible & debilitating

ReliefNeeded
ReliefNeeded

I have recently been experiencing a number of distressing feelings, along with physical pain, for the first time in my life. And I have come to find out that this is because, for the first time in my life, I have become attached and bonded with someone. The person who I am attached to is someone I have been seeing for a few years (without feeling these things before) and who I now realize I love deeply and am so in love with them too. The feelings are apprehension, fear, anxiety, unease, a sense of emptiness and a void, plus physical pain in my chest. This is all contstant and never ending - not ever. It is continuous and perstsent. It never eases up. Its unberabale and I am having a lot of trouble sleeping, as well as getting through each day. I cannot see the person for several more days and am distraught over that.


I cry also when the pain becomes overwhelming. Nothing distracts me and I have no-one at all to speak to. I do not work either.


This is all new to me and has come about following a recent traumatic time with the person I am attached to. I have never connected with any person before and I have no idea what to do about this state I am in. I have arranged to see a therapist for my first proper session (the initial consualtion has been done) but it will be a few days before.


If you can offer any help as to what I can do in the meantime, please please reply.

johnnycake
johnnycake
When you talk about pain, I assume you mean emotional pain? How old are you? Most people experience this kind of "love" in their teens. It is usually gone ten years later. Perhaps your emotional development was delayed, or you might be depressed. Stay in touch.
warrior2
warrior2
I agree with johnnycake that since this looks like your first relationship that you might be young. First love and loss is so painful it feels like you have been in a car accident! There is a new app out there called "mend" you might want to check it out. This app walks you through the loss process and sends you daily affirmations that are designed to lift you through this. Keep us in the loop and know that every single person here has experienced this very same thing, you are definitely not alone!
Rogerc
Rogerc
Look up yoga and healthy food for anxiety--things you can do for yourself to feel better, independent of what anyone else does. Warrior2 is right on--we all are imperfect and have been there, too. We feel for you and care.
Elsee2000
Elsee2000
I can relate to the pain you’re describing perfectly.

I find that with regular practice of self compassion and mindfulness, it has helped me to feel value in myself and basically stop trying to feel that “void” with my connections to others, and instead focus on my relationship with myself.

A great audiobook i’d recommend is “The Science of Mindfulness and Self Compassion” by Kristin Neff and Shauna Shapiro.

It’s still a daily struggle that I have to manage but it hurts way less now that I’ve started to practice self compassion and mindfulness.
There is hope that with time and hard work, you can start to feel more secure in relationships ❤️ best of luck
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