Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
my daughter has an IEP and the way things work at her school is they dont have special education classes, they have learning support meaning the core subjects there are two teachers in the room for assistanxce. anyhow one of my daughters majer Quirks is she cant control when angry who she takes it out on, she might be mad at a kid but yell at everyone else but the kid who did something, its the nature of her. well she was being picked on in school yesterday cause she was talking to a boy, and to her the littlest comment turns into mount everest, anyhow so she took out her anger on two teachers, and then sent to the principals office, the entire school is, or should be aware of her condition , yet the assistant principal decided to ask her what is her MALFUNCTION, he admitted saying it to me, now normally i have a leap first ask questions later mentality, but i decided to sit on this one and not flip out on him, but today after a day i am just as livid about this, i am emailing the principal and sorry so lengthy but here is the gist of them email .
Today I email you as an upset father, I am fully aware that my daughter is a problem child. She makes mountains out of molehills, as far as how things go, its part of her disorder. She has ASPERRGERS. I capitalize this for a reason which I will get into in a minute. I understand that there was an issue yesterday, people were saying things to victoria about an incident and teasing her, part of her condition ASPERGERS is she takes longer to comprehend certain things and her social skills and how her brain processes information is different. So yesterday she was getting picked on about a boy, that talked to victoria and it upset her and apparently she lashed out at teachers,, I had a talk with her about this but again due to her ASPERGERS, her brain does not properly process who to take her anger out and she more than 90 percent of the time lashes out at the wrong people. Now to the reason I have been Capitalizing ASPERGERS, when she was sent to see your Assistant principal He asked Victoria What her MALFUNCTION was. I dont believe a supposedly highly educated and trained educator and administrator would not be able to use some tact. The district has all the materials stating about her disease, yet he chose to use a word like that. Its offensive to even send my special needs child to a school that handles issues like this. And I plan on taking this as high up as I possibly can to inform anyone until I feel my issue resolved
any opinions on this
Today I email you as an upset father, I am fully aware that my daughter is a problem child. She makes mountains out of molehills, as far as how things go, its part of her disorder. She has ASPERRGERS. I capitalize this for a reason which I will get into in a minute. I understand that there was an issue yesterday, people were saying things to victoria about an incident and teasing her, part of her condition ASPERGERS is she takes longer to comprehend certain things and her social skills and how her brain processes information is different. So yesterday she was getting picked on about a boy, that talked to victoria and it upset her and apparently she lashed out at teachers,, I had a talk with her about this but again due to her ASPERGERS, her brain does not properly process who to take her anger out and she more than 90 percent of the time lashes out at the wrong people. Now to the reason I have been Capitalizing ASPERGERS, when she was sent to see your Assistant principal He asked Victoria What her MALFUNCTION was. I dont believe a supposedly highly educated and trained educator and administrator would not be able to use some tact. The district has all the materials stating about her disease, yet he chose to use a word like that. Its offensive to even send my special needs child to a school that handles issues like this. And I plan on taking this as high up as I possibly can to inform anyone until I feel my issue resolved
any opinions on this
Him apologize? Get in trouble? Get fired?
I do agree that he should not have said that. It was extremely rude, insensitive, insulting, and hurtful. The main thing I imagine you want to focus on is getting your daughter the support she needs.
I am a special education teacher and I do some inclusion (support in general classes) as well as teach classes within my room only. I'm surprised that she does not work with a school social worker on some of these issues. Things escalate fast with your daughter, so my suggestion would be a cool down pass or something like that. It allows her an "out" for when she gets angry. She is able to leave the classroom and speak to someone, whether it be one of the staff members in the room that support her or a social worker or counselor.
Unfortunately, kids can be really sneaky and the child who was mean to your daughter may not get in trouble because he/she knows how to manipulate. Some people with Asperger's do not have that ability so readily available. This is not a bad thing, but I can imagine that some may get in trouble by their reactions and punishments at that point would seem unjust.
I would try to let the comment roll off your back. I do understand that it's personal to you and insulting. I also think that man is extremely unprofessional, but maybe take less time and energy focusing on him, and focus on getting your daughter all the support you can so she can be successful and happy. Don't let him sap the energy and emotion you need to help your daughter.
Good luck to you! I commend you for being such an advocate for your daughter!
My first suggestion is write your letter but change its tone to a more diplomatic one. Perhaps acknowledge that while your daughter`s reactions can be frustrating, that you need him and others in the school to understand that because she has Aspergers, her social beahviours require a more sensitive approach. You might suggest that your daughter needs all staff who deal with her, including the principal, to be on board with making a creative effort to deal with her special needs. You might tell him you what you and your wife do to try to raise your daughter to be accountable for her anger (identify things that you find work) and suggest that the school might try the same. Or if you`re not sure what works for her yet, tell him you need the school`s help.
I would ask for a written response to this letter. It will be interesting to see what the principal`s reaction will be once he has had a chance to reflect on his words and on yours.
Finally, document what happened yesterday. Include the date of this incident. And if you get a written response back to your letter keep it. The reasons i suggest this are that if the principal does not answer you favorably, you may indeed want to pursue this with the school board, and this documentation may be helpful in accessing support for your daughter in the future.
All the best.
The other thing I would recommend any parent of an Aspie/Autie child do is make sure you give a copy of your IEP to each of the teachers and student deans your child encounters. Why? Because often the special ed folks/counselors do NOT disseminate that information. I was shocked to find out that half mny son's teachers didn't know he had an IEP which they were supposed to be supporting, and they didn't know what his accommodations were supposed to be. You have to be proactive and you have to be vigilant. It sucks frankly.
@gettingitstraight - are you sure your district doesn't have another more appropriate class setting for your daughter? Her placement sounds wrong somehow. Just a thought...
Hugs...