Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
Finally, now that my son is nearing 11, I have found a doctor who is willing to take more than 7mins to look at at, watch, and diagnose my son properly. We have had several appts with her and she finally said this last Friday that she thinks he has ASD...she said that she has what used to be referred to as Aspergers. Are they not calling it that now? I'm confused.
All of the paperwork, pamphlets, and book recommendations that she gave me refer to Aspergers, which we had already suspected for years, but kept referring to it as Autism Spectrum Disorder. Most of my son's problems appear to be sensory.
Ok, now for a bunch of questions that I would greatly appreciate a few answers to, from parents of other ASD/Aspergers children:
1) Taking my son into Walmart is nearly impossible, and always has been. Within minutes of hitting the door, he's wound up tighter than a top and very agitated. How on earth do I get him to learn to calm down a bit in a store? I try to plan trips for times when there won't be as many people...but there will always be lights, a million things to looks at, noise.
2) Our doc mentioned that a lot of these children, with sensory problems, have behaviors that are considered rambunctious or obnoxious. My son definitely does, but she put a new spin on it. He is always jumping, stomping, banging, crashing. She said that he has may have difficulty processing touch and that he's just trying to find a way to meet a need that he feels, but can't explain. She mentioned weighted vests help many of these children. Has anyone ever used one on their child?
3) How on earth do I get the school to get on board with what he needs? We have a meeting Tuesday morning, because of the suspension. I am sick at the idea of going in to talk to them, bc at this point he's just been labeled as ODD (therefore...naughty, a pain, a bad kid...not my opinion, but theirs from what I've encountered). How do I get them on board with what my son NEEDS, rather than their opinion of how things should happen? He has difficulty in school, and I'm sure it's bc there is too much going on around him. He is overloaded within minutes of getting there. Our doc mentioned that some kids, even in what the average person considers a quiet room, can have difficulty...because the florescent lights are humming, they can hear pencil on paper, papers are shuffling, people are coughing or breathing loudly, chairs are moving, there's noise outside or in the hallways...noises that average people don't pay attention to or maybe even hear. He can't live in a world of silence. This kind of relates to the WalMart (any anything in public for that matter) question.
4) How on earth do I get my other children to help with this? I work full-time, I'm a full-time student, I'm a single parent, I have three children and a cat. My life is chaotic, but I've done everything that I can to keep a schedule, to keep things as calm as I can...but my other 2 children are having such a hard time with their brother. They don't understand that things have to happen a certain way to keep their brother calmer. I realize the world can't revolve around him...but he deserves to be as comfortable as everyone else.
Sorry, this is long. Now that we finally have an actual doctor who is willing to help us and took the time to see that my son has differences, my mind is going 100mph. I am full of sooooo many questions. I just want some real-life advice from anyone who can offer it!
All of the paperwork, pamphlets, and book recommendations that she gave me refer to Aspergers, which we had already suspected for years, but kept referring to it as Autism Spectrum Disorder. Most of my son's problems appear to be sensory.
Ok, now for a bunch of questions that I would greatly appreciate a few answers to, from parents of other ASD/Aspergers children:
1) Taking my son into Walmart is nearly impossible, and always has been. Within minutes of hitting the door, he's wound up tighter than a top and very agitated. How on earth do I get him to learn to calm down a bit in a store? I try to plan trips for times when there won't be as many people...but there will always be lights, a million things to looks at, noise.
2) Our doc mentioned that a lot of these children, with sensory problems, have behaviors that are considered rambunctious or obnoxious. My son definitely does, but she put a new spin on it. He is always jumping, stomping, banging, crashing. She said that he has may have difficulty processing touch and that he's just trying to find a way to meet a need that he feels, but can't explain. She mentioned weighted vests help many of these children. Has anyone ever used one on their child?
3) How on earth do I get the school to get on board with what he needs? We have a meeting Tuesday morning, because of the suspension. I am sick at the idea of going in to talk to them, bc at this point he's just been labeled as ODD (therefore...naughty, a pain, a bad kid...not my opinion, but theirs from what I've encountered). How do I get them on board with what my son NEEDS, rather than their opinion of how things should happen? He has difficulty in school, and I'm sure it's bc there is too much going on around him. He is overloaded within minutes of getting there. Our doc mentioned that some kids, even in what the average person considers a quiet room, can have difficulty...because the florescent lights are humming, they can hear pencil on paper, papers are shuffling, people are coughing or breathing loudly, chairs are moving, there's noise outside or in the hallways...noises that average people don't pay attention to or maybe even hear. He can't live in a world of silence. This kind of relates to the WalMart (any anything in public for that matter) question.
4) How on earth do I get my other children to help with this? I work full-time, I'm a full-time student, I'm a single parent, I have three children and a cat. My life is chaotic, but I've done everything that I can to keep a schedule, to keep things as calm as I can...but my other 2 children are having such a hard time with their brother. They don't understand that things have to happen a certain way to keep their brother calmer. I realize the world can't revolve around him...but he deserves to be as comfortable as everyone else.
Sorry, this is long. Now that we finally have an actual doctor who is willing to help us and took the time to see that my son has differences, my mind is going 100mph. I am full of sooooo many questions. I just want some real-life advice from anyone who can offer it!
You could try:
- letting him where sunglasses in the store. There are also coloured lenses called irlen lenses which are thought to be very helpful. You could try trial and error with different coloured lenses sunglasses, or you could try finding a specialist who could find the correct colour lens for your son.
- giving him ear plugs or noise cancelling ear phones to wear
- depending on how big he is, let him sit in the trolley with a big blanket over him
- you could try taking pictures of various parts of the store. Then stick them onto paper in order of what you're visiting, with words next to it of what you're going to do in that section of the store. Some AS kids get anxious when they don't know exactly what's happening so that could help to calm them.
2. I know of a number of adults who wear weighted vests and they adore them and say they are brilliant.
3. Sorry, I don't know how to help with that. Maybe try getting him into a school for kids with autism?
4. There are books, including picture books which explain autism, and are designed for kids. You could maybe get those for your other children to read.
I hope this helps.
As far as the school aspect of your dilemma it TOOK me years (Timmy is now 13) of suspensions, phone calls home, then they just started calling the Police in whenever there was a episode.... Timmy is not a bad kid, but when you tell him something such as "if you can make it threw the day without calling home I will give you a bag of Skittles" well then you better do it.... LOL even though he may have screwed up somewhere else along the line BUT didn't CALL HOME he still feels he deserves that bag of Skittles..... does that make sense???
Finally after testing and a week long Hospital stay in a Childrens Psych Ward for Medication evaluation, like you a Doctor who had never met with Timmy before called me and ask, has he been ex\valuated or tested for Aspergers??? Well now that the Diagnosis is correct5 it is easier to understand what and who I am dealing with on a daily basis..... :)
After many IEP Meetings with the school, doctor recommendations on Timmy going to a LEVEL 2 school, it has finally been done... his new school has no more then 9 students in a class, a Psych Doctor there that he meets with once a week, sensorary rooms where the children to go to to shut it down for awhile. Every child that attends this school has one Social Disorder or another, it has only been 1 week of school but I already see a LITTLE change in him..... :)
As far as your older children helping you...... well my oldest (25) moved out in the middle of the night because I had asked her about helping when school started..... seriously I woke up one morning and ALL of her stuff was GONE..... hopefully your older children will be more willing then mine was....
I WISH you MUCH LUCK!!! :)