Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
I am a shining and defiant example of of the antithesis of the stereotpye that people with asperger's have no sex drive. I've always had a strong one, and, in my mid twenties, I find I am practically hypersexual, with a tendency toward erotomania rather than nymphomania.
Unfortunately, on account of my alexithymia (difficulty identifying emotions in the self), poor execution, and almost total lack of patience, I find I ahve two speeds when it comes to wooing women: Idiotic, and Creepy.
Does any other heterosexual male aspie have problems like this?
Unfortunately, on account of my alexithymia (difficulty identifying emotions in the self), poor execution, and almost total lack of patience, I find I ahve two speeds when it comes to wooing women: Idiotic, and Creepy.
Does any other heterosexual male aspie have problems like this?
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
Aspie sexual drive and diversity in it's experession is the same as the "normal" NT population - so research shows.
Take you time, be yourself, relax. Internet is good to get to know people - for aspies and introverts.
And dude, EVERY MALE is handicapped when it comes to women....as some have said, the problem is that the male mind wants to make SENSE of things...the female of our species is not limited by such silly restrictions.
However....I am married to an aspie. We met on a relationship forum and conversed in private messages a lot about his how he came across to women...idiotic and creepy were two adjectives he used as well. He was 24 when we met
During our friendship stage, I witnessed him, many times, trying to establish a relationship with girls his age and found that most of them had a personal agenda (ie., what they were looking for in a husband) and when he didn't fit that agenda (ie. didn't have a place of his own, no job or low paying job, etc.) they were no longer interested. And clearly, if that's what they wanted and he couldn't deliver, then of course there wouldn't be a relationship. What bothered me was the complete crassness and cattiness and downright being mean these girls were capable of.
I am 21 years older than my husband. What I brought to the table was maturity and stability. I was established and didn't need my mates 'help' in becoming my own person, I was already there.
Now, I'm not suggesting that you go on a cougar hunt. I'm sure some 'nice' twenty-somethings are out there, but you may have difficulty in finding one that is mature enough to understand why you are different.
My husband converses much better in written format and that's really how we got to know each other. Even now (we've known each other since 2008 and married in 2011) I find texting to be the better medium to converse when we need to discuss something. Odd, but it works for us.
Sorry I don't have any better answer than that....I guess just wanted to let you know that there is hope for everyone.
I'll mention a few things that I discovered over time...
--We people with Asperger's tend to speak more directly and bluntly than many other people. This can lead people to think of our comments as "creepy," especially in dating.
--Approaching romance as an act of "wooing" is usually problematic. It puts your focus on achieving goals and creates frustration when those goals aren't met. It's typically better to just seek a human connection with other people. Sometimes, this will lead to romance, but other times it won't. When it doesn't even though you want it to, that hurts, but thinking of yourself as having a goal and trying to woo is still problematic.
--Interesting, honest conversation is the best way to form relationships of any kind. We people with Asperger's can sometimes misinterpret "honest" to mean holding nothing back, so sometimes we have to remember take it a little slowly when it comes to opening up about things. Not every thought that crosses the mind has to be spoken, and being tactful can be helpful.