I am a 21 year old married man who just got diagnosed with AS by my therapist. Also i am a GODly man and live to serve him. My wife and I have been getting therapy for quite a while now and my therapist gave me a unoffical diagnosis. We have been going to therapy because of my past porn addiction and have been wondering why I havent had therapy at the top of my priority list. I would forget things and just try to make my wife happy by doing small things in the house like dishes and vacuming while im layed off(temporary things to make her temporarily happy). But then we go back to our therapist the next week and she asks if I did my homework. Go to support groups, study aspergers syndrome, research things to help me. And when I tell her I didnt do any of that, she asks why. Why isnt this at the front of my priority list, when my wife has grounds for divorce. And she has grounds for divorce because I have reocurring problems with looking at other females. Not on the computer, or at porn. But how I look at women altogether. I see a woman and analize and depict what I like and define what is pretty. And then I start to pick apart my wife, as if she isnt pretty, and start to pick out her flaws. And that certainly isnt godly.And honestly I just dont know what i want to say. I just dont understand why im like this. I thought this was normal and everyone was like this. I guess im just asking for some insight on this and some help. thank you :)
I don't know what is wrong with me! I am so sad and don't understand why. I don't remember much of this year and that is really frustrating to me. I know at one point I had friends but now I don't. I have no idea what happened with that but I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm just meant to be alone. So so sad and so incredibly alone. I don't know what to do or even how to feel.
I'm more apprehensive than anything. I know what to expect with the procedure but I have no clue how I'll respond to it. I understand how it's done but everyone responds differently to everything so where I have collected all kinds of information on ECT I have been unable to predict how my body's chemistry will react. I'll keep you posted. Oh and I feel a lot better!