Hi, Heidi

I'm very sorry to hear about your and your son's pain. It gets better.

Thoughts of suicide are not unusual - among all people and adolescents especially - and they can certainly be overcome and the person who has them can have a happy, fulfilling life. They are also serious, however, so I strongly recommend getting professional help immediately.

Heidi,

I wanted get my recommendation to go to a doctor in quickly because of the situation you described, but I also wanted to add some personal thoughts that might help...

You said of your son that "the kids his age won't be friends with him," but it's very important to remember that he *does* have a friend. The separation feelings he's having now are signs of the importance of this relationship, as tough as the separation feels now.

Another thing to keep in mind is that social dynamics will change a lot as Josh gets older. Other 13-year-olds are unlikely to be able to see through a person's superficial differences to appreciate his unique and wonderful qualities. Over time, this will improve. In discussing this idea with Josh, I'd recommend being careful not to trivialize his feelings. When I was young and told my dad about feeling anxiety, he laughed and said, "What do you have to be worried about?" This made me feel dismissed and misunderstood, and it put up a barrier to communication between us.

But I think you can recognize the seriousness of Josh's feelings while also helping him to put them in perspective.

Please keep us up to date on how things are going. Dealing with Asperger's, like dealing with all of life's challenges, is a long and constant effort. Sites like this are here to help.

Thank you hemaboy for your fedback. It is very much appreciated. Josh is spending more time with his grandmother now and she is a therapist, so we are hoping for help from her. Also, we have purchased DVD's and books that help teach social skills to aspie kids. And we're looking in to some supplements and medication for him. We have also talked to family members about the situation so I am glad that they at least know what it going on. He seems better these past few days and we have been keeping him busier than we were before hoping that it will help take his mind off of things a little bit. We don't really have the money for regular therapy right now but I might be able to get it from my dad.

as people have said, ya in this case specificly take it serious, really the fact that he may feel alone alot has effects people don't realize. that being said it may not be what he really wants here, but in this case and with about any aspie I have met other then myself, we tend to get along better with eather the generation above or below us. may help if he finds some people that are in those age groups that are ok with his exentricities.

hope that helped some

MEH

Thanks MEH for your note. I appreciate the support. Yes we are all taking this very seriously and are making plans that we hope wilol hope him. He seems to be better lately and even canceled plans to get together with a friend of his from first grade that his grandmother had arranged for him, as he had decided that he wanted to come back home that night instead of staying at his grandmothers where he had planned to see the friend. I'm hoping that means he isn't too lonely at the moment. I'll stay on touch with this board and continue to let everyone know how he's doing.

Hope things continue to improve

My son did the same thing. It was right after Christmas and after his Birthday. We had no warning. He has one friend as well. The thing is that he said he had no other friends. In reality he does have more, but his social impairment causes him to exclude others. He wants more friends he is just unable to go there. He can't "build" those friendships. He doesn't know how to approach people and talk. To see him talk to the guy behind the counter at the coin collectors (which is Ryans age) saddens me. He can't look him in the eye, he speaks in a low monotone voice where the other guy can barely hear him. The guy looks at me wanting me to talk to him for Ryan. I can't do that because it will make Ryan to dependant on me. If he doesn't do these things then he will just stay in the house and get depressed.

I am sorry to hear this. But I think this is the age when they really notice the difference between them and their peers. They are teenagers and so much is shifting from being a child and going to a teenager with hormones. A change not only in a peer group but a change in the mind and that is a change where they are different at anyhow.

I'm glad to hear that you have someone in your family that can help. That is great. :)

Thank you bjnewman for your support, and I will add you and your son to my prayer list. It's interesting when you say that your son has more than one friend but doesn't acknowledge the others as I've seen Josh tune people out who were saying "hi" to him at school and minimize other friendships that I know he has. It's hard to understand sometimes. There's much good news though to report to all of you. First of all my mom tracked down Josh's friend and he is now at her house waiting for me to bring Josh there in the morning. This is huge as these people are always moving and often don't have their phone connected, which had happened again. This was really leaving Josh feeling discouraged after enduring the three week separation. Also we ordered some DVD's that teach aspie children social skills. And I'm reading books and looking in to supplements as well, so I am feeling very encouraged tonight.