Asperger Syndrome Support Group

Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.

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Mercy "Friends"

mimestream
mimestream
Does any person here have what I call "mercy" friends?
What I mean is, I'm grateful someone is willing to keep
in touch, share time with me, but I hear from other people
that these friends say "I always had to look out for her"
growing up."
My perception is that the friendship was real, but in reality
I see people befriended me out of a kind of patheticness.
That is to say, they saw me as alone, awkward, many
times mute...and they played the role of protecting
or making themselves feel good because they paid me
Attention when no else would.
I ask my self "Have I ever truly known real friendship?"

Aside from online, very real people whom I've never met
I have to consider that no, I have never had a friend.
Btw I'm 49.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had never thought of being befriended due to pity - I hope that's not what my friends have done! I have a few people I'm very close to who I consider to be true friends because they have been there in times of need, and I am there for them too.

What makes you think that because they felt they had to look out for you they were not real friends? If they really didn't like you they wouldn't have befriended you at all, surely?
AquaeGrannus
AquaeGrannus
What's "Real" anyway? A moment in time. I am thankful for some of my "friend's" parents putting up with me sort of adopting myself into their households....for pity or whatever...it allowed me a glimpse into "normal", improved my repertoire for "getting along", and, along with the companionship of those "friends" whether for a season or more, made me feel less alienated from society in general. I'm thinking they did as much a favor to "society" as they did to me personally....who can feel so OUTSIDE all the time and not become a sociopath? Throughout my life, the roles I've played have come to define me overall....choose carefully who you emulate, what you play at, and the roles you shape yourself with. Choose your obsessions wisely.
And remember Mimes...I'm YOUR friend because your mind seems to work right from my perspective and you worry about stuff like this...it's endearing and speaks well of your heart.
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
Even if people do pity you, that doesn't mean they don't care. I'm sure you hvae many likable qualities and that your friends enjoy many things about you as well as wanting to look out for you. If you like being with your friends and you trust them, then question it no further.Enjoy your time together and make the best of it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh man, I know what you mean...
Even just talking to classmates from college, I can detect the BS in their voice... they really don't want to talk to me but they are so I can "feel accepted".

I'd rather be ignored than be lied to.

Thankfully I have true friends that accept me for who I am and they get over my "craziness". Grateful for that, just wish I could have more of em.
newmee99
newmee99
I feel you, Im not sure if I have Aspergers or not, sometimes I think I might because Im not a social butterfly like everyone else in my family. Ive hardly had any friends growing up, and MAYBE have 1 or 2 that i hardly ever talk to. How do you guys support yourselves? Im about to end a relationship with someone who treats me awful but I have problems functioning when I find work. I usually get fired or quit because I tend to make people not like me. I dont know what to do, I need a job to support myself but have trouble staying employed.