Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
My ten year old son has been diagnosed with aspergers a couple of years ago. I don't fully agree with the diagnosis but he does have some of the behaviors associated with the disorder. For the past couple of months he has become more and more aggressive, especially with his siblings (he's # 5 out of 7). His older two brothers are showing more self control and are therefore easier with this transition. My ten year old though has self control issues anyways and now this is just adding to his issues. I'm at a loss on how to handle things. With negative disapline we just go down hill, always have. We have to explain things to him, let him experience natural consequences, and help guide him. My husband (who isn't his biological father) doesn't understand mental disorders at all and his biological father has his own mental problems (as do I) which only adds to his instability. I don't want to do him a disservice by reacting wrong. Does anyone have experience with helping a tween with aspergers who is just beginning puberty? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
How old are the siblings he is having trouble with?
Hugs...
The other thing that was important was to make sure that they were not forced to share absolutely everything, and that they each had their own space. That's really tough with 6 kids. My thought is that perhaps he does not feel he has control over anything for himself. He may need some space where he can retreat to. If there is something that they have to share - like computer or game system, for instance - it might be worthwhile to actually set up a schedule and post it for all the kids to know who gets to use it and when. That worked for computer game time with our guys until we were able to afford separate machines for them. Both my sons worked out a lot of their frustrations and aggressions with computer games, and once we stopped the dispute over computer time, things were a lot more peaceful in our house.
We also used taking away of privileges as discipline. That had mixed results.
Are you working with a counselor? Sibling rivalry is a reality. Siblings will sometimes scheme and conspire against each other. It ain't healthy and it ain't nice, but it happens.... You may need for all the kids to hear it from another adult what is acceptable behavior and what is not. That might be a counselor, that might be a relative, that might be a pastor.
Does your son have any interests that you can utilize to channel his energies? Most Aspies have one or two things that they have an intense interest in. My Aspie son is a self-taught expert on World War II history and is a computer geek. Supporting his interests and his accomplishments helped.
Sorry this is such a long reply, but I don't think your situation is a simple one, and I didn't want to just give you some knee-jerk reply. I would also like you to know that we did indeed survive puberty, my boys are the best of friends now, and are both interesting, nice, talented young men. They still piss each other off sometimes, as all human beings do. But they don't resort to fisticuffs to resolve their problems. It does get better.
Hugs...