Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
hello all....
i was on a dating site and got taling to sum1 who said to me that we will talk via email 4 a fewmnths and then meet, i do hav aspergers and ocd and called him repeatedly but still not that much
he said to me he is going through a divorce and wnts me to back off, he said he wud call me nxt week 2 c how i was doing and this was 6t weeks ago, so i called him yesterday and a woman answered the call and i said can i speak to him he said that tell her not to call but i needed to ask him wtf basically?? i got to talk 2 him and he said that he does not wnt to talk 2 me and that he is getting married (which is a lie) he said u misinterpret my kindness and i am not capable of lsitening and that he does not wnt to kno me, in the beginnng he said that he wnts me to wait till he is divorced and now a woman answers his phone...he is 17 yrs older than me, i am 29 and he is 46, he has been divordced twice,a nd he aslo swore at me..i said to him u said we wud meet in a few mnths and he said nothing, feel incredibly hurt like i am such a loser and ugly, i was really excited to meet him and was it all a pack of lies that i did not pick up on cos of being aspie, dnt kno wat 2 do, in a way feel relived that at least i now kno not to think abt him,,,,,,pls sum1 reply
i was on a dating site and got taling to sum1 who said to me that we will talk via email 4 a fewmnths and then meet, i do hav aspergers and ocd and called him repeatedly but still not that much
he said to me he is going through a divorce and wnts me to back off, he said he wud call me nxt week 2 c how i was doing and this was 6t weeks ago, so i called him yesterday and a woman answered the call and i said can i speak to him he said that tell her not to call but i needed to ask him wtf basically?? i got to talk 2 him and he said that he does not wnt to talk 2 me and that he is getting married (which is a lie) he said u misinterpret my kindness and i am not capable of lsitening and that he does not wnt to kno me, in the beginnng he said that he wnts me to wait till he is divorced and now a woman answers his phone...he is 17 yrs older than me, i am 29 and he is 46, he has been divordced twice,a nd he aslo swore at me..i said to him u said we wud meet in a few mnths and he said nothing, feel incredibly hurt like i am such a loser and ugly, i was really excited to meet him and was it all a pack of lies that i did not pick up on cos of being aspie, dnt kno wat 2 do, in a way feel relived that at least i now kno not to think abt him,,,,,,pls sum1 reply
My advice is to always be true to yourself. Remember what you said and do, treat others how you want to be treated but be careful-especially online. Online, anyone can be anyone and say anything. Develop relationships slowly and cautiously. They can happen.
I had one to the point a guy move up from three hours away. Didn't last due to reasons but point is it can happen. Just be careful. Try not to let this guy get to you. Just write him off!! Delete him from your phone and computer.
Just take this as a lesson learn, take some time to reflect, treat yourself good and move on when you can.
What I like to do, which I got from my first (cheating) husband....I clap my hands to pretend I am closing a book and say out loud "next chapter" :> No, it's not that easy in reality, but I feel like I had the control of the situation I closed the book, not the other person.
yes, he founf out abt my aspergers and other health stuff(have a bunch of conditions) a few days ago and i snt him the letter from my docs in order 2 b truthful, i dnt think he is getting married, umm may i tell u sumthing pls, i feel (i dnt kno if its naviety) but that once he sort of understands and realizes abt the health stuff he will coem round as it was a schock, he said 2 me i dnt wnt to kno u and am not interested in u, i am v teary today and i did like him
He is not on your side.
You are on your side and you are tougher than him. Because, well, why? Because YOU say so.
Doesn't this sound fun? I actually feel empowered!
I have been where you sit so much it is embarrasing. If he writes/texts/calls back......what if you don't open the the pandora box. What if you don't respond? Who is in control then.
I guess I am trying to set up a wall around you. If he never contacts you, fine. Because if he does, you are not even going to respond anyway. And yes, reading his response or listening to it on your phone is a response. It is a response of listening.
So now, you take the next step........by refusing to take one! I am so excited for you if you decide this. It has worked for me in the past. I use it often. I just say, even when I am mad, what if I laugh right now? What if I just change the subject out of the blue? It really if fun. My psychotherapist gave me the idea.
Is he lying about marriage? Who knows? He lies when he tells the truth and tells the truth when he lies. Forget about that too!
Look, this man is hurting you deeply. The "dating" phase is as good as it gets. Marriage is the beginning of the end. So this is the paradise with this man. Uh, No. We don't think so. As a matter of fact, "JUST SAY 'NO' " to this relationship.
Not all beautiful people are good. Not all beautiful people are bad. People are people. But this guy ...... well I smell him from here.
Are you an adult?
Rule number one on online dating. If they say they are getting a divorce, don't communicate with them because it means they are not divorced yet and because of that are unable to commit completely to anyone else.
Rule number one about dating men, if you find out they are doing something to someone else, they will do it to you as well if you get together.
you deserve someone who loves, trusts and respects you for who you are and that includes everything.
you will find that right person and if he treated you this way, he obviously wasnt that interested.
Sometimes people get overwhelmed when we unload and tell them everything about ourselves too quickly. They dont want to feel like they are our therapist, they want to feel like they are getting something special, and when I say special, I mean in a good way, and you should know and trust that you have that something special inside of you.
Trust in yourself, and if you see that a lot of people are "running away" from you when dating, try to find a mentor, a friend who knows you well and can help and guide you in becoming the best person for them as well as for you in that relationship.
Wishing you the best!
:)