As a mom- I always have had many hopes and dreams for my children- of course I want them to grow up healthy and happy, and feeling good about themselves as well as be individuals who are generous of spirit- I also want them to believe that they can probably do anything that they are really passionate about and put their heart into (vocationally speaking). Recently my daughter's counselor suggested I "grieve" the loss of my dreams for my 14 year old daughter with Aspergers. She said that I should lower my expectations and concentrate on the minimal safety standards that any parent would have (i.e. keep her from getting pregnant or hooked on drugs- which I am actively doing now)... and to let the other "dreams" go. I find this idea really depressing... and it would seem that I am selling my daughter short by not having similar hopes and dreams for her as I would my other children. I am not prescribing how I think her life should look like- that will be up to her- but is it unrealistic to think she will grow up, perhaps get further education, get a job and support herself someday? Perhaps get married and have a family? She is leaning toward going into the military- is that a possibility for her? I am not in denial about her challenges- I guess I just don't want to give up all hope for her to have a successful adulthood...
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