Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
I came home from work today, to a business card taped to my door...from a CPS worker. On the back was a note, telling me to call him back...that he needed to discuss something with me, concerning my son. I knew immediately that it was my middle child he was referring to.
When he got here, he asked to speak to me privately. He then proceeded to tell me that allegations had been leveled against me, for child abuse. My middle son told someone that I beat him, threaten to kill him, don't feed him, never buy him anything but do for his siblings, call him stupid and dumb, that I call him other names.
The worker, after telling me all of this, asked me to show him the kids' rooms. He wanted to see the kids clothes and I had to point out which clothes were whose in the closet (my boys share and bedroom and a large walk-in closet). He asked me whose toys were whose. He looked in my bathrooms, made me open my kitchen cupboards and fridge. He questioned my children...who ALL (including the middle child) denied the allegations! Of course they did...bc they're total BS!
My son lies. He lies constantly. I have no idea who on earth he spoke to, or what possessed him to say all of this to them...but I'm ANGRY right now. CPS isn't something that just goes away. I get another visit next week, had to give the caseworker the name of my son's counselor that he sees once a week and his psychiatrist. I imagine that he'll speak with them now also. I'm angry with my son, bc what he told someone was utter lies! I'm angry with whoever called CPS, because they do NOT know my family...do not know that I am all but killing myself and ruining my family in order to help my son.
When he got here, he asked to speak to me privately. He then proceeded to tell me that allegations had been leveled against me, for child abuse. My middle son told someone that I beat him, threaten to kill him, don't feed him, never buy him anything but do for his siblings, call him stupid and dumb, that I call him other names.
The worker, after telling me all of this, asked me to show him the kids' rooms. He wanted to see the kids clothes and I had to point out which clothes were whose in the closet (my boys share and bedroom and a large walk-in closet). He asked me whose toys were whose. He looked in my bathrooms, made me open my kitchen cupboards and fridge. He questioned my children...who ALL (including the middle child) denied the allegations! Of course they did...bc they're total BS!
My son lies. He lies constantly. I have no idea who on earth he spoke to, or what possessed him to say all of this to them...but I'm ANGRY right now. CPS isn't something that just goes away. I get another visit next week, had to give the caseworker the name of my son's counselor that he sees once a week and his psychiatrist. I imagine that he'll speak with them now also. I'm angry with my son, bc what he told someone was utter lies! I'm angry with whoever called CPS, because they do NOT know my family...do not know that I am all but killing myself and ruining my family in order to help my son.
My oldest (when she was 14) got mad because I had found POT in her room, there was a BIG arguement plus punishment going to be handed out..... during the arguement she went running down the steps and FELL.... at shcool the next day one of her buddies told her, that if she put bruises and scratches on herself that TIM would go to jail.... well with her fall down the stairs her arm was bruising as well as her side..... sooooooo guess what that evening she did not return home from school.... CPS, THE POLICE, and GUN CONTROL was at my door!!!!!! She told the Police we had guns hidden ALL OVER THE HOUSE!!!!!! They totally destroyed my house looking for loaded guns, CPS inspected BOTH my boys in front of me looking for BRUISES..... GUESS WHAT....NONE were to be found....... after all the questioning I went to the cabinet and threw the bag of POT on the table and said THIS is WHAT started it!!!!!!!! I found it in her room... and here are a bunch of letters also mentioning where they are getting it from and names and numbers of kids who are selling it!!!!! Now go do your investigation.... (ohhhh in the process they had taken it into their own hands to transport this child to her father who lives in ANOTHER STATE!!!!)
2 DAYS Later CPS calls me and says "Mrs. E. we are finished our investigation and we have determined that your daughter is a 14 year old spoiled BRATT and can be returned to your custody"..... I said "NO WAY F THAT you took her OUTTA here NOW you DEAL WITH HER!!!!!"
a few months after living with daddy, she got in trouble at school for renting out her dads PORNO videos to her friends..... one of them which was a HOME MADE VIDEO of HIM AND HIS WIFE!!!!!! LOL KARMA!!!! because HE BELIEVED EVERY THING she said about US!!!! He actually called my husband at one point and apologized to him for believing all the BS!!!!!
If you need to talk you can message me.... I don't know the answers for you, but friend I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!
I am praying for you..... and giving you MORE STRENGTH!!!!!
Lyndee good for you for talking to them that way. Did they really call her a spoiled brat?
In doing research on AS (I'm an Aspie), the author did state that despite AS, children can still learn acceptable behavior (like not picking your nose in public and not swearing), so many acts of defiance aren't necessarily attributed to AS...it's just outright defiance and should be treated/disciplined accordingly.
My son is also an AS (diagnosed but in denial), and earlier this year, I had to put him out of my house for 3 weeks because of his defiance (he bounced around with family members who believed all his lies and thought I was the bad guy....until my son stayed with them and they got a taste of his crap firsthand). I also stood my ground even with his high school about not allowing him to return home until he changed his attitude (I dropped his clothes off at the principal's office in a duffel bag).
He returned home (unchanged at first), but at some point, when I had a meltdown and let him know all the pressure I was under, that his antics weren't helping, and starting making direct requests/demands for change, it shook him but he seemed to get it and he actually changed (I got it the picture too...I realized I wasn't being direct enough for him to understand what I needed from him).
I said all that to say this: make sure that you are not implying what you want from your talebearing son and let him know directly what you want him to do and let him know how his behavior affects you (if you haven't already, but it may make a difference if your words are very direct...we don't handle subtle messages well...we either tune you out because we know you're not being direct (you gotta talk like you got a pair), or we get frustrated or upset because your implied words are confusing to us.
I will be praying for you and your family...I wish my parents were as patient with me when I was an AS kid as you are with your kids. God bless you and good luck!
Trinity
God bless you and thanks for sharing,
Trinity