Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
I'm 25 years old and I have a very mild case of Asperger's. I live with my grandmother in the Twin Cities in Minnesota because I'm currently attending college. I don't hold a job because I've never had the need to work and I also chose to focus on my studies. I'm very emotionally sensitive, I don't respond well to other people's anger even if it's justified, I'm very sensitive to tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and I cry very easily. I'm introverted and I don't have any friends. Due to my introverted personality, I find it very hard to know how to respond in a situation of anger which causes me to be hyper vigilant in my actions and fear other people's anger. Even though I was never physically, emotionally, or verbally abused by my elders, I've always been sensitive to anger and I never knew why. My family have always loved me, cared about me, showed affection, and accepted me the way I am but I never knew how to handle anger. Before, I used to throw things but I was very picky in what I used to throw because I didn't want to lose what was valuable to me nor anything expensive, yell, and say hurtful things.
My mother lives in Fort Lauderdale, Florida with my stepfather, just the two of them while my younger sister lives in Charlotte, North Carolina so I visit my mother during the summer but at times I've felt lonely, angry, and frustrated because I feel like my mother can be irritating, she takes out her work stress on me and I don't know what else to do about it. When she gets mad at me for no reason, I want to say the meanest and nastiest things to her. In the past my grandmother told me that I should understand that she's under a lot of stress at work and that when she gets angry, I need to ignore it and let it go but I can't do it because there's no excuse for her to be like that, she needs to learn how to manage her own stress and deal with it in a healthy way. Although she's not the type of person to say anything hurtful, I still get get provoked because I don't think it's fair for me to be treated that way. How can I deal with this? Am I the only one dealing with an irritating mother? How do any of you handle stressed parents? Any advice would be appreciated!
One piece of advice I'd give is about this part of what you said: "she takes out her work stress on me and I don't know what else to do about it. When she gets mad at me for no reason, I want to say the meanest and nastiest things to her."
I know the temptation to say mean things in situations like this. It's good that you have the control not to, and it's good that you have such an articulate grasp of your overall situation. (Continuing to write about your situation and feelings, both here and maybe in a journal, helps.) One thing you could do is to carefully compose an email, so that you avoid saying mean things but so that you also express your thoughts about how she takes things out on you.