Asperger Syndrome Support Group

Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.

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livingly
livingly

Years ago when I was three I was diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder. Around the same time I was diagnosed with a genetic disorder and after this my mom mentioned that she stopped focusing on the labels after that and just started to focus on meeting my needs and taking care of me? Most recently I've been in counseling for depression and anxiety and I brought the past diagnosis of PPD to my counselor and after some discussion with her and my mom sitting in on a counseling session and me and my counselor researching my disorder (cowden syndrome is the genetic disorder I was diagnosed with.) and autism she said she felt comfortable diagnosing me with high functioning autism. I shared this with my mom and she told me that she didint care about the labels and she just wanted to focus on meeting my needs and helping me. I know that she may have meant well but it still hurt for me because it felt like she didn't accept me. I have not told the rest of my family and I wish I could I just want so much to be understood and accepted and I'll feel like I'll never be able to achieve that. It's so hard. How do I deal with this? Does anyone have advice for how they dealt with being unaccepted for there diagnosis or how you coped with someone not accepting your loved ones diagnosis? 

V1CT0RY
V1CT0RY
Hi livingly, Its hard enough having Asperger's, and having to deal with Cowden's also, my sympathies. I wonder if there's a correlation between AS and skin diseases? I've dealt with eczema and psoriasis my whole life, not to mention a 10 year bout of lichen simplex. Keep a careful eye on your Cowden's, with its increased cancer risks! Your Mom's reluctance to assign "labels" may be a parent's way of trying to help you feel 'normal' (whatever that is), rather than saying, in effect "This is my child, Aspie', or, "This is my child, Cowden's". Of course this is an exaggeration, but it may seem to her that its almost what "labels" do. In addition (more guesswork), she may feel deeply "responsible" for the perceived unfairness of birthing a child saddled with such debilitating conditions, so avoiding "labels" lessens her own pain. I know this is WAY personal, but its something most contemplate about their own lives: If you could be reborn, would you change anything?
livingly
livingly
Well if I could be reborn I would want to be neurotypical so I could have friends more easily and if I couldn’t be neurotypical I would have liked to be able to know about my diagnosis of autism sooner.
V1CT0RY
V1CT0RY
I can see your point, livingly. I was first tipped off about my Asperger's listening to a radio program at the age of 53. Being a life-long loner, friends/family was never that high a priority for me. But I have found a great companion named, God. I am who He meant me to be, and wouldn't change that for the world.
No one is better at being you, than you. So, be the best version of yourself.
Kiwi_
Kiwi_
No good advice. No solutions. I started school age on a tiny dot of an island in Micronesia and diagnostics were out the window. The school would have kept me back again and again except that, as my mom told me years later, I tested well past the normal cognitive acuity ranges. Even when my family returned to Massachusetts and my mom brought me to see some of the best...my dad felt it was all a waste of time and all attributable to child laziness, and so he begrudgingly allowed the dyslexia label but refused to let the diagnosis of autism into the home, and so I had to wait to learn of it only after he died. My mom...accepted me and was the only one helping me to pull through. My dad, I felt like maybe I was a child adopted from some relative on my mother's side, maybe to rescue me from some worse fate, and that my dad resented going along and always wanted me gone. I built that insulating un reality, but no evidence was ever given, other than his life long contempt, that I wasn't his biological child. Stuff happens. You survive, even with the deep scars, I guess. I still have baggage, and the pros got me to go for therapy for a while. Seemed the therapist would just do enough to get me to open up and tell my stories, but without ever pointing me in any healing direction, but, just because I quit it doesn't mean it couldn't benefit you. I'm trying now to see if I can repair my own psyche through the online wisdom of like folks.