Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
My daughter's great grandmother is in the process of passing away.We know that in a couple of days at the most we will be processing the funeral arraingments. We have had a hospice grief counselor talk to my daughter who has Asperger's Syndrome and her regular counselor about everything going on.
My daughters age is 13.What kind of behavior should I reasonably expect out of my daughter? She doesn't always sympathize or empathize with others.I'm trying to make sure I'm doing the best to explain everything to her,and making sure she has experts talking to her as well.
My daughters age is 13.What kind of behavior should I reasonably expect out of my daughter? She doesn't always sympathize or empathize with others.I'm trying to make sure I'm doing the best to explain everything to her,and making sure she has experts talking to her as well.
The funeral: There was a lot of touchy, huggy, and tears. I was shocked by an outpouring of collapse/sobbing from a cousin of mine. It was showy, dramatic and a big display! I remember watching my mother leaning on her sisters. Anyway I also thought, "Gee I don't love my grandma more or less than that dramatic cousin but it may APPEAR that way since emotion does not readily play upon my face, however I did not appear outwardly to express that." Nonetheless I DID feel.
After the funeral, my mother said a profound and memorable, NICE thing to me. She said "Everyone was telling me that you weren't grieving right...that you didn't show any emotion.But there was a time I glanced in and saw you there, and I saw it on your face."
I wrote in my diary that night, "I am not a stone." It meant so much for her to acknowledge that just because I appeared one way did not mean I was not human with feelings like everyone else.
Remember to acknowledge your daughter's personal grieving style. It may mean a lot.
If she has never been to a funeral, a quick going over of where to sit, etc. particularly the wake portion--might be a good idea but I wouldn't press her to conform socially to too much outside her comfort zone. Its the wrong time for all that. A loss of loved ones is enough of a shake-up. A meltdown from over load could even ensue. For me I had night terrors.
When my great grandmother passed on,I was 13 and was denied the opportunity to be with my granny when she passed.They wouldn't even let me in the room to see her.I didn't get to see her again until they held the viewing days later. That tormented me for the longest time,simply because my great grandmother was my whole world.I understand why they did though.
The no emotion thing was quiet evident when she came in to see her granny before the funeral home took her. She kept looking to me as if I don't know how to feel,and I know that made things harder for her.But I do have to say that she has been real brave and strong,she's been trying to help her brother keep HIS chin up while we all heal from this loss.My son is only 9,but he has adhd so emotions can be overwhelming for him as well.
I would never expect her to conform her style of grieving to the "norm", I'm so far from the "norm" myself that it isn't funny. I do real good up until the funeral part, then I'm like a sponge and all the emotion and grief in one concentrated area just saturates me and then I too cry and snot and let loose. I know her style may be totally opposite of me.Either way I'm hoping with the combinations of grief counselors and her regular counselors and us here at home that we can help her through this as easily as possible for her.
Thanks again mimestream!