Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
Hello,
I am a 24 year old who has recently been diagnosed with Asperger's. I was diagnosed by my therapist who I have been seeing off and on for three years for panic disorder.
My panic attacks are under control now. I am in school full time, working as a music teacher, and I have recently started dating but I am having a very difficult time with it.
My biggest problem is how much alone time I need. I understand that introverts naturally need more alone time than extroverts but I need even more than that. Actually that is one of the things that tipped off my therapist about Asperger's.
When I start dating a girl, I am upfront about needing to move slow and they always say they are fine with that. But when I get invited to hang out with her and her friends, I can usually last an hour before I start feeling like I am coming down with the flu. I get really weak, feel nauseous, and get the shakes. And then I need to be alone for a few days to recover. Of course, they take this personally and I feel awful.
I can also only handle one or two dates a week. And when it comes to getting intimate, I am so awkward. I just don't pick up on any cues. I know that must be very frustrating for the girl.
Has anyone else on here been through this? Is there a way I can be more "normal" when it comes to dating. I feel like I am stuck between feeling lonely, and needing to be alone. Maybe that will make sense to someone on here. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
I am a 24 year old who has recently been diagnosed with Asperger's. I was diagnosed by my therapist who I have been seeing off and on for three years for panic disorder.
My panic attacks are under control now. I am in school full time, working as a music teacher, and I have recently started dating but I am having a very difficult time with it.
My biggest problem is how much alone time I need. I understand that introverts naturally need more alone time than extroverts but I need even more than that. Actually that is one of the things that tipped off my therapist about Asperger's.
When I start dating a girl, I am upfront about needing to move slow and they always say they are fine with that. But when I get invited to hang out with her and her friends, I can usually last an hour before I start feeling like I am coming down with the flu. I get really weak, feel nauseous, and get the shakes. And then I need to be alone for a few days to recover. Of course, they take this personally and I feel awful.
I can also only handle one or two dates a week. And when it comes to getting intimate, I am so awkward. I just don't pick up on any cues. I know that must be very frustrating for the girl.
Has anyone else on here been through this? Is there a way I can be more "normal" when it comes to dating. I feel like I am stuck between feeling lonely, and needing to be alone. Maybe that will make sense to someone on here. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
So I'd get a proper diagnosis before accepting this is asperger's and that is the root issue. It might be something else and your problem can be addressed from that perspective.
I say this because I'm on the spectrum also and had difficulties in my youth but I never actuially felt physically ill. Many of the people that I've come accross would have difficulty in gettting to the point of intimacy in the first place because they feel so awkward and shy. Asperger's is highly variable though.
Sorry, guitarmurph3, I with I had some advice for you. My 26 yr old son is dealing with the same issues as you. I think that the longer he knows a person, the more time he feels comfortable spending with them. I know that sometimes he forces himself to hang out with people, even if he's not enjoying it, just to try to appear "normal". It's very tough, and there are no easy answers. I wish there were.....I hate to see my son struggle with socializing. He really wants friends and girlfriends.
But a therapist is not trained to do medical diagnostics. A therapist does not see hundreds or thousands of people with mental health issues other than probably depression or anxiety.
Trust me, I have inside knowledge.
This is some advice I found for already trained psychiatrists so that they go and check the differential diagnoses to be sure, ie these are all things that even to a trained medical practitioner look similar to asperger's. Alternatively you would have to have had a good working knowledge of these disorders and their common combinations (e.g OCD and anxiety) to be able to distinguish them.
So here's the list
certain forms of schizophrenia,
ADHD,
Avoidant Personality Disorder,
Schizoid personality (note that is not the same as schizophrenia)
Schizotypal personality disorder (note this is something different again)
Forms of OCD
Semantic pragmatic disorder
Multidimensionally impaired disorder
Cerebellar affective syndrome
Dyslogia
socialemotional learning disorder
Non-verbal learning disability
I have then found other web pages that reference these disorders as being similar
certain forms of Epilepsy
Fragile X syndrome
Hyperlexia
Dyspraxia
Prosopagnosia
Alexithymia
Personally I doubt if many therapists have even heard of half of those listed.
So I return to my advice - get a proper diagnosis.
But seeing as this was posted over a month ago I suspect the OP has already moved on. Hopefully he took advice from someone who is on the spectrum themselves plus knows a fair bit about therapists and psychiatry.