Everyone, and that is everyone, who is effectively an immigrant goes through something similar - I'm sure that Asperger's adds an extra dimension but it's a universal feeling. Don't have any suggestions other than to try and connect to other immigrants.

I am going through exactly the same experience. I don't feel comfortable with many people such as those with authoritative body language. It is also because I have electrical sensitivity and people think that this is only related to electrical equipment and not with the human electromagnetic spectrum. Many times, I feel bullied about complying with the norms of the society, which is difficult. I have difficulty making friends as I do not respond with the expected emotional response. So a person I am trying to be friends with thinks my feelings are not genuine and chooses another friend instead. I can understand your state of mind.

I am so proud that you are going to Grad school. I understand your loneliness, my friend. I have aspergers as well. I was never made to see my aspergers as making me a freak. I beg you to humor me and see the way my grandparents taught me to think. Both were educated and hard workers. I am American too. With my grandmother's teaching skills, she made me to appreciate the way I think and the way I learn and perceive. To me, I have thinking advantages over most "normal" people, whatever that is nowadays. I mostly learn quicker, analyze more thoroughly, and have a drive for good knowledge. I learned that I would have the tendency towards isolation and I would have to work harder than others to make friends. My former habit of telling people too much even for a friendship, had to be relearned into something more reserved. Keeping a bit more to myself.

You are worthy of friendship. You are worth getting know. You are unique, not a freak.

In a real life interest group or volunteer opportunity, I don't have to talk a lot, just when I need or want to. It is a great way to get to know people. Volunteering keeps my mind off myself and I interact with the people I am helping or the pets I cuddling or walking, or the businesses that I am approaching for donations to the pet humane society where I walk dogs, et cetera.

Do you realize how big of an acvomplishment it is that you went to a different country for your academic journey? I think you should give yourself a lot of credit!

I think aspies learn to be careful to make friends because they can be hurt a lot by even a little.

Society places a lot of emphasis on "loneliness" being a sad thing.

Aspies have to balance between making a trustable friend over making them fast.
Too much to process and mistakes can be made.

Maybe you need to tell yourself. It is a trait of aspies to be careful and to be safe to avoid getting hurt.

NTs seem to make friends but do realize that they have a layer of non trust even if they seem to be friends with others. Apsies are clear. Either they are friends and trust a lot or they cannot act like friends and confuse others.

NTs have different social norms.

So do not feel bad. Just think that the different wiring works differently.

Avoid accepting that being lonely while you find people to trust is a bad thing. It is just a protective thing. NTs do not need it because they do not trust while acting friendly. Something almost impossible (or useless) for an aspie to do . |

I hope the advice helps. BTW if an NT reads my stuff they might find faults or objections in it. An aspie shall understand it easily.

The reactions to the inside thinking of an aspie clearly states what type of person is reacting to the content.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. It's good you can share your experiences on this board. I was lonely for a long time. I tried to make friends with people who seemed popular and normal, and it was always incomplete and faked. Now that I'm older, I have surrounded myself with people who are nicer, more creative, and more unique. It takes time and effort to find the right crowd, but you're not alone in having those feelings and there is much hope for the future.