Thanks for posting that. There are some really great points in that blog. I noticed she is a Dr. Is she a psychologist? Anyway, I think that everything she listed is important for all relationships.

One thing that is extremely important is laughter. Laughing means you are enjoying life and the person you are with. My partner and I have the same sense of humor and that bonds us. We laugh at goofy things other couples might not think are that funny, but it doesn't matter. It's something we share with each other.

Another thing which I've read most Aspies need is space and independent/individual time. I'm an NT, and you better believe that I need that time just as well. We both have things we are into that are separate from each other, but we are supportive of whatever the other person's interest is. This is important too.

Concentrated, focused communication is one we're working on. My partner does not like to talk about "serious" things because I think he feels that he's done something wrong. When I say, "Can I talk to you about something?" He always groans. And most of the time, it's that I need support or help with something and want his full attention. I wish he'd stop doing this. It makes me feel like a mother who wants to scold her child. I'm sure this isn't uncommon. Sometimes men in general don't want to have chatty time like some of us ladies do. Maybe I need to preface it differently. Sometimes it is about him, but he's not in TROUBLE, we just need to communicate about things sometimes for relationship maintenance.

He just wants everything to be happy go lucky with no bumps in the road. I want that too, but brushing things under the rug and smiling can have serious consequences later on.

Anyway, thanks for sharing this!!

You're Welcome; and thank you for your comment, Anna.

I agree that we, as women, tend to be much more chatty than the men. My husband is appreciative that I am not so chatty, while inwardly I am wishing I could be more chatty.

I don't want to avoid sensitive issues, either, and realize that most things are best discussed, somehow. It is hard for me not to groan, though, when my husband starts out what he is saying in too "tactful" a way--I am conditioned to know that when that happens, what he will say next is probably very bad. I deal with it better when it is actually blunt, straight forward and to the point. I do believe that it also helps to say a lot of positives before talking about the negative, though--not to sound overly critical.

We used to laugh and joke much more when we were first married. Things changed when he developed anxiety and depression caused by insufficient sleep, which was probably because I had developed a night cough. I got my cough treated, but my husband was on edge after that.

He finally got better when he nearly died from CHF and I was waiting on him hand and foot, so he knew I really cared. Finally, he got a correct diagnosis and good treatment and is reasonably healthy now.

I like having individual time, but not necessarily more than typical people, I really dislike having people avoid me, or fail to include me in group activities.

Everyone is different, though, so there are not a lot of characteristics that "all" Aspies share.

My wife & I set aside one evening a week to talk about serious things including a week's worth of miscommunication.
Not that we do not talk through the week. We always check-in at the beginning of the day.
But because of her NT needs for social interaction she goes out most evenings and with my need for NOT socializing I go for long (8 hour) walks or read or take classes or spend time alone in coffee shops.
This is working for us right now.