I think everyone is different when it comes to hip pain and how it starts. Mine started out with mild pain and gradually got worse over time. When I finally got to the point that it became unbearable to put weight on it, my doctor had me start walking with a cane and did an MRI. It was bad and pretty much stopped me from doing anything. Finally I had a hip replacement last June and am doing good now. I don't know how you would be able to tell about your mother's pain unless you see her walking fine (when she thinks you aren't looking). I know some people who enjoy the attention from being sick or having surgery. Don't understand it but it happens. Just watch your mom closely and get the advice of her doctor. Maybe they can give her a cortisone shot in the hip. If it isn't bone on bone that should help for a while. Good Luck with this. It is hard sometimes dealing with older parents.

I have watched her. For instance, I came out this morning and the walker was sitting across the kitchen and she was walking around the kitchen just fine. According to the x-ray and floriscope, it is NOT bone on bone. I just find it interesting that she had no pain 4 months ago when I moved in here due to my own medical conditions and she was fine. (Oh, and she was having to do a little more for my dad) and within a matter of 3 weeks, she says she can't walk at all. Even the doctor told me that he doesn't see that level of damage. Just wondering. As I said, as my dad gets worse and she might have to take care of him......fix meals, dust and vacuum......suddenly, she can't do it. Since I've been here she went back to the surgeon cause she states her new shoulder was hurting. Well, the doctor told her (in front of me) if you don't use it...it doesn't work. She doesn't do her therapy. A few weeks later she said she was having severe pain in her new knee...again, the doctor told her, if you never use it....it doesn't work. So, here we go again. As, I also said, I've been struggling with knee pain since I was 19. Also, had back problems, but I read a great book that discusses the connection between pain and stress and I am virtually pain free today. And even the knee.....I should have it replaced, but it suddenly stopped bothering me. There are definitely people with legitimate problems and then those who milk their families and the system.

Lynne, I do understand your concerns. If you don't use the joints, you do lose it! Physical activity/therapy is the best medicine to avoid surgery or at least prolong it.

What book did you read regarding pain and stress? Sounds interesting. Thanks.

Hi Lynne
Someone doesn't have to have bone on bone to not have extreme pain.
Bursitis is very painful and can be debilitating. Maybe she's got bursitis in her hip and it didn't show up clearly in mri's.

Maybe your mother has better days than others.
Everyone is different and have different pain thresholds.

You are fortunate enough to have overcome your pain problem and you don't feel it. That's great. But your situation is different to your mother's. you are on your path.
Your mother is on her path. Even IF she is perhaps "milking" it as you say. There's obviously a reason why she may feel the need for attention. It really doesn't matter. To her it's real and she's suffering in her own way. Whether it be physical or psychological or both.

And a surgeon is not going to perform surgery if your mother didn't need it. so obviously she has had legitimate pain and joint problems with her shoulder and Knee.

As for your mother in the kitchen without the walker. She could be using the counter tops for support and lean on. That's what I did before I got my knees done.
I use to find the cane and walker very cumbersome in the kitchen. It got in the way. I had bone on bone in my knees and I kinda bit the bullet and did things and to others it may seem like I was fine but I assure you inside I wasn't and was in extreme pain.
You can't really judge if someone is in pain or not or making it up or not just by looking on the outside of them.

Yes physical therapy does help and you mother ought push herself to do it. But maybe she's tired, fatigued, depressed, not motivated or even forgets to do it or it hurts too much to do it.
You said your mother is lazy and does nothing. She really could be in pain and tired and just can't do it.

I'm just trying to offer the what ifs, the maybes and possibilities of what it could be that is going on with your mom.

And if your parents are aging it's pretty common for it to be a back and forth thing with something wrong with one of them. It's just the age. My parents are the same. Father had a knee problem, mother hurt her shoulder. Father had skin cancer, mother got breast cancer. She got shingles, he had a stroke.
That's not all in order and happened over a couple of years or so but you get the picture.
They are both ok right now and all recovered other than minor things.

Also are you concerned that as your parents age you think you will be put upon? Expected to do more even though you have your own medical problems. Perhaps you are worried and concerned what is going to happen for the future for you all.

I hope you and your family will be ok and you can do your best to avoid stress.

I'm also interested in the book you mentioned.