Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Why must my emotions and anxiety be out of control

sweetgirl18
sweetgirl18

As Christmas is in a week and it's suppose to be an enjoyable time. This year I decided not to do anything to big except go see my nana and my dad.


I'm excited to see my children pen there presents under the tree Christmas morning and for my daughter having a week off from school.


But I been very emotional lately and have often cried where I don't know why because you don't just get emotional and cry for nothing there's always a reason to that. 


It seems like I can't function when it comes to my own stuff for what I need to do for myself but when it comes to me having to do things I need to do as a mom to my children and as a wife to my husband that's easy for me.


I notice when my anxiety and emotions are bad I end up smoking more and more cigarettes which isn't a good thing because normally I only do like 5 a day but sometimes I just wanna smoke the whole pack which I've done a few times in the last week.


If I didn't have a husband or children I couldn't imagine what my life would be like. I honestly don't know how my husband has always loved me and even to this day and has always been calm around me and still is. 

Community LeaderMid
Mid
Keep writing it out to sort out what's not being expressed.
Ooms17
Ooms17
I think it may be built up stress and unconsciously ignoring your emotions. Sometimes I do this and find myself crying for what seems like no reason, but it is just pent up feelings. You sound like a good mom, so don't ever doubt yourself there!

I am positive that your husband loves you because of who you are, and I can tell from your words that you love him too.

I am sure you will be able to figure everything out if you keep writing about it!
arfie
arfie
personally, i buy the theory that emotions are uncontrollable. the heart goes where it goes. the best i can hope for is to manage my reactions to those emotions.

anxiety is a natural result of trying to control the uncontrollable.

one reason i believe caretaking comes more naturally to me than self-care is that i don't feel quite so compelled to control other people's emotions. they want what they want. attempting to give that level of acceptance to myself triggers my low self-esteem, etc. i can respect other people far more easily than i can respect myself.
hyperpgal
hyperpgal
The holidays are so stressful--even if we've simplified things there is still this feeling that you should be doing more--esp if you watch holiday shows where women turn their homes into winter wonderland overnight and turn out big traditional meals where everyone sits around and fixes and ties up all the family issues ever. It is all BS--but we buy into it, just remember Jesus spent his birthday in a barn --he got these bizarre gifts from "wise" men and there was no turkey or ham (which no one could eat anyway because they were all Jewish!) so yeah-- keep it easy and forget all those movies!
sweetgirl18
sweetgirl18
Thank you all. Yes I do love my husband my teddy bear and I know he loves me but the truth is I love him way more than he'll ever love me which is fine because I know he really loves me.

As long as I'm able to be affectionate to him like hug and kiss and cuddle him I'm fine.
Candygurl
Candygurl
Sending you a virtual hug. If you're a smoker, maybe try breathing exercises. I understand that a lot of the relief comes from the deep, regular breathing. I know that when I have panic attacks, breathing is key. Deep, slow, regular breaths. Keep going until you start to relax. Try not to think at all, just focus on the breathing and slowing down.
sweetgirl18
sweetgirl18
Candygirl I walk the dog do yoga bake. As I eat very healthy where I very rarely eat meat ill. Have a piece of chicken or turkey once in a while and I don't drink. Smoking is my only bad habit and if I go with out a cigarette I do not function well I get more anxiety and emotional and very moody.

Atleast when I'm busy being mommy to my kids and keeping the house up and doing my wife duties the emotions and anxiety subside and I don't smoke nearly as much.

When my husband is at work and my 1st grader is in school and my son goes down for his 2 hour nap and when things are quiet that's when it gets crazy for me.

January 9th me and my husband are going to Aruba for 10 days. Even know my children will be in good hands in going to be a wreck for the 1st couple of days but mommies and dadies do need there own alone time.
Candygurl
Candygurl
Aruba, that sounds fabulous! It's going to be great. Remember to visualize every day about the fun and relaxation you're going to have. Train your imagination to have that fun.
You sound very healthy! If your 'free' time is what allows your anxiety to spiral, and I think it is the same for many, have a plan for the free time. Line up someone to talk over the phone with, watch something while you fold laundry, do some gardening (in a pot if you don't have a yard), just make sure you have (relaxing) plans. You are going to be fine. There is so much that is good and positive in your posts.
mtd
mtd
Who wrote the rule that Holidays were supposed to be enjoyable? The reality is that our expectations don’t take into consideration that reality exists. It’s all within our own perspective.
sweetgirl18
sweetgirl18
Mtd I agree with you. Reality whether it's Easter 4th of July Thanksgiving or Christmas in reality those days are no different than any other day. Some holidays are great and some are devastating like back in 2014 4 days my husband's mother passed away and the wake was the the day after Christmas. Good Friday 2 days before Easter 2013 found out I had a miscarriage which was heart broken and then I've had the flu on Christmas.

What makes the holidays a dread is My annoying arrogant older sister where she's always causing drama and she's always full of drama and people wonder why me and my younger sister don't bother much with her.
mtd
mtd
It’s all in your own perspective. If you don’t want to be around this sister, then don’t. If you feel you have too, don’t buy into her drama, take it with a grain of salt. She can’t affect you unless you allow it ( hint hint).
Candygurl
Candygurl
Holidays are stressful because of the expectations and the change in routines. Needing to be around people you don't see all the time. Putting on or attending special events. For me, it is helpful to acknowledge the additional stress and prepare or give myself some grace for being more off balance. It also helps to share my feelings with people I can trust and ask for consideration and that they not press me to do things that are difficult.
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