Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I want to know what it actually feels like to be depressed. I feel like I am but maybe I'm overthinking. I often feel depressed because I'm bored
I remember thinking that I had ruined my children's upbringings and lives so badly, that the kindest thing to do to them would be to drown them in the bath, so that they could avoid the kind of suffering I had endured all my life and was (I thought) doomed to suffer forever. it's a profoundly negative mental state where you can't offload your bad feelings and are stuck with them going round and round in your head. Needless to say, MANY mothers DO drown their kids in the bathtub, and now you know why. I remember one woman killing all five, she was homeschooling. I understood her position entirely - although of course I would never have done it, because its clearly logical that no matter how bad your life is, it's your own choice to end it, not your mother's, when you're five.
So yeah, for me, depression's in that kind of zone. I no longer consider myself fully responsible for my children's entire futures; letting go of responsibility was part of letting go of control. I no longer consider myself doomed to a life of sheer misery because I no longer am in that state of sheer misery (ie events have proven me wrong.)
I'm in a different space now, but at the time I could not see a way out of the problems, I thought they were insurmountable, and I felt like I was in a bear pit, the 'creature' was coming to get me, it was dark and full of spikes, and I could not get out. Ie despair, torment, anxiety, fear, and an utter sense of personal failure. :)
I mean, of course we can talk about depression, and for people here they are often the same thing, but outside, you might say your coworker's "depressed" when she's been seeming "down" for a while.
It doesn't mean your coworker's potential suffering is in anyway "lesser" or illegitimate than someone in the hospital. Doctors just have to be very specific in their definitions, and we can be as broad as we want.
So really, you can just feel sad for no apparent reason, and it's OK to say you're "depressed".
But a doctor has a checklist you need to meet in a consult for him to say "you suffer from Depression".
(Also keep in mind that a therapist or psychologist can not diagnose you with any disease--they're not licensed or trained for that.)
So, there's more than one definition for depression.
I would be inclined to say you're in grief Brrriiiaaa.. If it carried on when the cause for grief was gone, they'd probably call that depression.
Grief is awful. Just awful. romantic breakups knock a person for six and it's a known thing for people to kill themselves over it. Best not to do that....
We get over grief and become ourselves again. Depression is more of an ongoing trajectory where your spaceship is supposed to be going to the moon but is in fact just zooming out into outer space.... you kind of need help to change the trajectory or you are doomed.
That's how I see it anyway. I am very sorry for your loss Brrriiiaaa. It will hurt, and it will be agony for some time. it will change you and mature you, and you will come out of it in the end having learned something about human nature that is very worthwhile. but OMG the pain. The pain of a broken heart is indescribable.