My Grandma passed away (I watched her slip away in the hospital) and became very emotional and "different" after that. In through all that I got mixed up in a very negative relationship and about a year after my Grandma's passing my Dad, who I hadn't seen in a few years, took his life. That's when all hell broke loose for me basically.

I wasn't able to fully get out of my "funk" until I got out of the negative relationship, got off the meds (they were counter-productive for me and made me feel MUCH worse) and just really learned all I could about the disorder...how it can't hurt you, how it is only chemicals in our body releasing themselves by accident, etc.

I relapsed really bad when my Grandfather got sick (that's when I joined this site) and ended up getting hypnotized for the anxiety and the attacks...it was my last resort. I have been attack free since, even through my Grandfather's passing in January of 2009, which was probably the most traumatic single event in my life.

That's how I know for sure that I am in better control of my thoughts now more than I ever was able to be, especially with the anxiety looming over me.

I wish I knew exactly where/when mine all started... I could be here for days writing a book on my history but I'll spare you all the details. Anyway, I'm new to this group (but not to DS).

Howdy!

I think mine started when my son was having mental health probems and he was acting out, cutting himself, being bullied, running away, getting in trouble with the law, getting in trouble with school. Didn't realize children could have depression, etc. He was only 13 years old. I had to fight with the schhol to get him in a program they did not feel was a good idea. They just did not want to spend the money on him. They had him put in the special ed. class which made him feel worse, then they had him sit in the office all day. His therapist said nothing would happened until he did something drastic and he did. He tiook a gun to schhol but pointed it at his own head. Didn't shoot himself but it was awful and all lot more to this story. He became suicidal and I couldn't get him into a hospital because our insurance ran out. It was the hardest, nightmarish time in my life. I personally got obsessed with reading about mental illness and fighting for this kid that I had my first panic attack .

By the way, he is doing fine now. He is off medication.

Mine began when I was about 15, it began strictly academically and I was worried about not getting things done and my deteriorating grades. About a year later my social anxiety developed and I still have panic attacks in socially stressful situations.
I've never had anything traumatic happen to me, which would suggest it's probably genetic.

my anxiety started when i gave a cocain addiction up. what a journey its been since!! things are good now and my confidence is almost all back and reality feels safe again. it took alot of change in my life and alot of self help and getting to know myself. i never thought i would say this but anxiety has changed my life for the better, yes its still hard at times. but see what positives u can get from it and be lead by your dreams and not pushed by you problems

i was 16. i started dating an alcohlic. my mother raised me and never built up my self-worth so i stayred in that unhealthy relationship.

Now i really honor myself but the damage has already been done.
i now have anxiety from having to live out the bad decisions i so easily made in my past.

wow - gotta hate that hind-sight!!!

I have had anxiety since I was a little kid. Social situation were horrific for me when I was a child. I would avoid being around other kids but my parents would always "force" me to join groups like girl scouts and other groups. I would end up having panic attacks that led to emotional breakdowns in front of all the other kids. my father died when I was 10 years old and things got steadily worse after that.

My story sounds similar to BipolarinBoston, I'm not sure when it actually all started, and I have lots of contributing factors. It really began to seriously affect my life in my late teens and in to my late twenties until I finally found a wonderful two wonderful doctors that have helped tremendously in the past 5 years.

I still have tons of struggles but I now have some support in getting through the realy tough times.

Mine began after I had a bad trip with marijuana ringing in my ears, very fast heart beat that i could hear and felt like I was dying also thought I had mini seizures x.x; afterward I became obsessed with ringing in my ears, then death and most recently losing my sanity. It has been two months but im starting to pull out of it actually breaking a rule right now by talking about it X3 cbt asks that you try to minimize mentioning or thinking about it.

The more I learned about the reality of history, and the world, the further distanced I became from this awful rat race and all pervasive ignorance. I lost friends, I was constantly getting into confrontational encounters because I actually bothered to do my research.. so I withdrew. I was always anxious because I failed to see why I had to conform to what people expected and desired. When I did it made me anxious. I no longer get nearly as anxious, it took a long time to free my mind but I did it and anyone can. Open up to new information, see the connections .. and off you go.. it can take a while.. and it can never happen.. but it worked for me. :)

Originally? Rejection and ridicule by other kids in the 4th grade.

At 19, not wanting to return to a job I hated.

At 42, watching my younger brother die of cancer (and now, aftershocks, maybe PTSD, and "flashbacks" every December and January, when he was sick and dying, like clockwork).

Lack of true comfort and love in this world-! A need to feel like I belong somewhere, with someone, but can't quite make myself relax enough to trust anybody-! But that is exactly what I have to do...

Mine started when I was in 1st grade. I was little had no idea what was going on and my mom never got me help for it. Now I am dealing with it worse then when I was younger. I just remember feeling nervous all the time going to school going on trips doing basically anything that was fun. I think mine is from the way I grew up parents fighting in front of us and my step father drank all the time and fought with my brother and my mom.

I think I had my real first anxiety attack in 2004 But it was mild compared to the ones I have now. At the time I was working late night deliveries and had been doing this sort of thing for over 5 years. I was over worked, stressed out and never got enough sleep. I was sick for about 3 months I went to doctors and they ran test after test and never really did come up with anything. Then in 2007 The big one hit while I was at work again I thought I was having a heart attack I was taken to the hospital stayed there for two days in cardiac care unit and had all sorts of test run. I had a stress test done etc and after it was all said and done My cardiologist thought I had a anxiety / panic attack and said it was related to stress that had been building for a long time. As long as I was in the hospital I seemed to be fine but once released and was back at home within a matter of a few hours I went right back into the same sort of attack and ended up back at the doctors office the next day. Since then things have been up and down. I just try and take things one day at a time.

Elementary school started it with social phobia (yeah, it was called shyness back in the day) :)

Got worse in college (all those drugs)

Hit rock bottom about 4 years ago (relationship issues) when I finally sought help

WOW...so many of these answers ring true!! I think I've had some degree of anxiety my whole life. Ridicule at school...not fitting in...parents divorce...rotten step-parents...few friends...failed relationships...abandonment. The list goes on! Over the years it has progressed into what it is now. Full blown anxiety/nervousness/tremors. I take meds and do my best to work through each day. I envy those who don't think about such things. My life is consumed by whether I'm having good/bad thoughts.