Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
So I just have something on my mind that I want to talk about with someone, but it's one of those things that I guess you could say makes me nervous to talk about. I figured maybe at least getting it out there will help me be open about it with someone. Usually I would talk to a counselor about this, but I only see her when I'm away at school. I know she has summer hours at the health center and part of me wants to make an appointment to see her, but at the same time I want to get past feeling the need to see her. I guess like usual, I just kind of want to be able to handle things on my own- which doesn't always work out so well for me but I keep trying anyways.
What I want to talk about is a job that I have for the summer. I got a job this summer as a counselor/teaching assistant at an academic summer camp for middle school students for three weeks. I'm really excited about this job, I feel like it will give me some good experience towards my goal of becoming a teacher. I'm also looking forward to being away for a couple weeks. At the same time, I'm nervous about this job. I'm worried about being away on an unfamiliar campus, with a group of people who I don't know. New and unfamiliar situations like this have a tendency to cause me anxiety. I'm also nervous about not knowing what I need to know to make a good teaching assistant. I just don't want to end up being unable to really help and the fear of making mistakes and being wrong that I have been working on getting over probably doesn't help with that. I feel like I may be giving myself anxiety by anticipating the anxiety that I expect to occur. This is just the kind of situation that knowing myself, I know would usually cause me to experience some anxiety and I just don't want that to happen.
Another thing about this is that I currently have a job at a daycare. It took me a long time to really feel comfortable in the job that I have. Over the last couple months I really started to take charge at work and be confident in what I do. I'm really enjoying work because it doesn't stress me out and its nice to feel confident and know that I can do my job well. It scary to be going from this job that I love and am so comfortable with to something so unfamiliar. I'm already looking forward to being back from the camp at the end of the summer to be at the daycare again.
Part of me wishes that I wasn't going to be leaving for three weeks because I just don't want to be faced with the feelings that my anxiety brings out, I'm just tired of the anxiety altogether. Now I know that going to the camp is my choice and that I don't have to do it. I want to though. Part of me likes doing things that push the boundaries of my anxiety just to prove to myself that I can do them and that I can get past the anxiety. I feel like to an extent putting myself in certain situations and being forced to overcome my anxiety has been really beneficial for me.
As far as I have come with my anxiety I feel like I still have so much farther to go. I'm just tired of having to deal with it. Especially the things that cause me to anticipate anxiety like the job this summer. I know anxiety is not an age thing, but sometimes I can't help but think that I'm in college I should be able to manage my stress and I should be able to deal with my problems. Going back to the beginning of what I was saying, I guess that's why I want to get past the feelings that I need to see the therapist. I just feel like if I don't feel like I need to discuss things with her the anxiety will be gone, even though I know it's not just going to go away like that.
Sorry if some of that was kind of random, to me all of the thoughts were tied together though. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for anyone to tell me, I just wanted to get this off my mind so I can stop thinking about it so much.
What I want to talk about is a job that I have for the summer. I got a job this summer as a counselor/teaching assistant at an academic summer camp for middle school students for three weeks. I'm really excited about this job, I feel like it will give me some good experience towards my goal of becoming a teacher. I'm also looking forward to being away for a couple weeks. At the same time, I'm nervous about this job. I'm worried about being away on an unfamiliar campus, with a group of people who I don't know. New and unfamiliar situations like this have a tendency to cause me anxiety. I'm also nervous about not knowing what I need to know to make a good teaching assistant. I just don't want to end up being unable to really help and the fear of making mistakes and being wrong that I have been working on getting over probably doesn't help with that. I feel like I may be giving myself anxiety by anticipating the anxiety that I expect to occur. This is just the kind of situation that knowing myself, I know would usually cause me to experience some anxiety and I just don't want that to happen.
Another thing about this is that I currently have a job at a daycare. It took me a long time to really feel comfortable in the job that I have. Over the last couple months I really started to take charge at work and be confident in what I do. I'm really enjoying work because it doesn't stress me out and its nice to feel confident and know that I can do my job well. It scary to be going from this job that I love and am so comfortable with to something so unfamiliar. I'm already looking forward to being back from the camp at the end of the summer to be at the daycare again.
Part of me wishes that I wasn't going to be leaving for three weeks because I just don't want to be faced with the feelings that my anxiety brings out, I'm just tired of the anxiety altogether. Now I know that going to the camp is my choice and that I don't have to do it. I want to though. Part of me likes doing things that push the boundaries of my anxiety just to prove to myself that I can do them and that I can get past the anxiety. I feel like to an extent putting myself in certain situations and being forced to overcome my anxiety has been really beneficial for me.
As far as I have come with my anxiety I feel like I still have so much farther to go. I'm just tired of having to deal with it. Especially the things that cause me to anticipate anxiety like the job this summer. I know anxiety is not an age thing, but sometimes I can't help but think that I'm in college I should be able to manage my stress and I should be able to deal with my problems. Going back to the beginning of what I was saying, I guess that's why I want to get past the feelings that I need to see the therapist. I just feel like if I don't feel like I need to discuss things with her the anxiety will be gone, even though I know it's not just going to go away like that.
Sorry if some of that was kind of random, to me all of the thoughts were tied together though. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for anyone to tell me, I just wanted to get this off my mind so I can stop thinking about it so much.
This summer job sounds like it will be a great opportunity for you. I would say to use your experience at the daycare to your advantage. You have spent a lot of time with these kids and it sounds like you're good at what you do. Just interact with the kids from camp in the same kind of way you would with the kids at the daycare. I know that being in an unfamiliar situation is nerve wracking, especially when you're not sure what exactly is expected of you, but just remember that there will be other people who can help you and tell you what you need to do. You don't have to be perfect, just be yourself and do the best you can :)
One last thing: no one can deal with all of their problems on their own. Of course you don't have to see your counselor if you think it would be best for you in the long run, but I personally don't see anything wrong with it if you do decide to see her. Talking through your problems with someone is a great way for some people to manage their stress.
Okay, I'm done rambling now. I'm not sure if anything that I said was helpful but I wanted to reply anyway.
And I know it's ok and good to see the counselor. I guess I've just always had the mindset that I want to be able to handle things in my own. That too is a thought that I have work on changing but it's not fully there yet. One reason I also don't want to see her as much is because I only have one more year of school left before I move on to grad school, since I won't be able to see her after I graduate I just want to kind of start getting myself used to not seeing her as much.
Anyways, thanks for responding. I know that was kind of a long post, but I appreciate you taking the time to read all of it!