Why are you afraid to "let people into your world"?

Because I don't want to hurt them or say selfish words.

But it's slowly killing you...

When is enough enough?

I know just seeing them smile is enough for me I'll be there if they need a shoulder to lean/cry on.

Jazzy, you are an amazing person. You are absolutely one of the nicest people ever.

For the longest time, I felt the same way you did. I hurt my girlfriend's feelings and she asked to take a break a while back. I was lost. When she came back to me, I suddenly began having stabbing pain in my stomach every time I would talk to her thinking it would hurt her. I was so afraid of losing her again because of my stupidity. I fell into serious depression and sadness and anxiety. I felt trapped. I could not stand to see her upset again. Then it got worse. I felt that way for everyone. I was so scared of losing them. So I lived my life in fear and hoping that I would not lose anyone. I felt the same way you do.

But as it got worse, I talked to my parents and I got some good advice. If you live your life fearing that you will lose someone, you may not know, but fearing makes you lose them. You pull away. So instead of dreading losing them, enjoy the moments with them, and not fear what may happen. If you enjoy the times you spend with them ,you will fear it less.

Also, you can prepare for the worst. Let's say you make a mistake and your friends decides to walk away from you. What will you do. Apologize in the most respectful and nice way. And if they still push away from you, give them space. Wait to see if they come to you, or try apologizing again. If they still push you away, you may consider getting new friends if they can't accept a mistake as a mistake.

This may not be the best piece of advice because it seems you would prefer not to, but talk to them about it. Let them know how you feel. You are scared to lose them because you care about them too much, and It may help you let off some steam. It will let them know that you care about them.

I hope this helps

I know but I already know what the outcome will be even if I overthink things like this and see might what happen I just have to deal with it with a fake smile and endure. Even now I'm about to lose someone yet he was worth protecting at a distance even if he's doesn't know at least I'm pushing myself to the limit.

Hi there, sorry to hear that you are going through some difficult time right now. I can understand what you mean when you said you don't believe in happiness. In some ways, I think what you are saying is you don't think you deserve to be happy (but do correct me if I'm wrong). If this is right, I understand why you are feeling this way. I used to feel that way too. These days, there are times I'll slip into that belief system which I feel that I don't deserve to be happy or I'm scared that something bad will happen if I'm actually happy.

Sometimes it's very hard to let go of our fears, no matter how morbid it may sound. Do you have someone, a neutral person maybe, whom you can trust to share these anxiety thoughts with them? Think abt it this way. Vocalising it maybe a way to slowly letting go of these anxious thoughts. Would you consider tis option? Keeping you in my prayer.

I don't need to be happy I rather wear a mask to fake smile everyday hiding my pain. What's done is done nothing will change. And I don't have no one to talk too I don't want them to know I'm suffering I just bottle it up until someday I can let people come into my world but for now I'm still trying to find my answers and help people with their problems.

Hi Jazzy. It sounds to me like you just flat out refuse to let yourself be happy. As far as letting your weaknesses show I understand where you're coming from. The truth is that you have to let your guard down to reveal your weaknesses to those you care about and love in order for your true strengths to reveal themselves. Until you can do this you will only get worse and withdraw even further into your shell. Go slow and let it out a little at a time. It will be hard but you CAN do it. I have found that deep breathing exercises helps with the anxiety part but you have to push through it. It will slowly get easier over time but if you do then I am positive you WILL be a happier person for it. There is no progress without struggle.

That's true but like I said I don't need happiness I don't believe it it's just a myth or fantasy that disappear. I don't have true strength I'm just being nice towards people I care just seeing their smile that's enough for me. You might think I'm stubborn but this is what I decided a long time ago just wear a mask and help others with their problems/situations this is who I am and what happens just is.