I'm not so sure I have advice, but I felt like this when my husband worked nights. It took me a very long time to feel comfortable enough to sleep in an empty house. I got to know the neighbors who were very decent people and told me to call them if I needed. I did sleep with the lights on, and my glasses, lol, I just felt better seeing clearly.


Would you feel better with different locks on the door, or a home security system?

So sorry your feeling this way after so long. Ask your boyfriend if he could put up motion detector lighting outside the house. That is usually a good deterrent.

Scott

@Diane-M, The locks aren't even all that great, one little screw could remove the doorknob. And the landlord isn't all that easy to work with. My neighbors, I don't have any problems with. They more or less keep to themselves. As do I. I just hope I get used to it sooner rather than later.

@2magicman, If the landlord allowed it, I'd have already asked him lol. It's just knowing I'm a little bit isolated in where I am that really unnerves me. My mind just never fails in trying to make me miserable and anxious.
I have been thinking of other solutions, I tried meditating the other night, but that was thrown off due to my dog barking at something outside. Turned out to be the neighbor pulling into the drive, but still, the initial shock freaked me out to the point where I couldn't settle down. It's a really bad problem.

When I was very young the night terrified me. By very young I mean in my early 20s. I could imagine all sorts of things in the night. Then I got married and had kiddies and had a husband always there, and I felt safe and calm at night, even when hubby was away on business.

Then He took the kids on holiday and left me to paint the bedroom, and I remember being scared stiff the first afternoon. It took me badly. I didn't know what to do. I endured it till after dark and then it was just severe. The first night, I slept under the bed with a knife.

Next day I phoned my mum, and asked her how to handle the situation. She told me to go to sleep quickly so that if someone broke in and killed me I would die in my sleep. Then she laughed. (Never ask a farmer's daughter for help).

Something has changed in me. I can't tell you what. But I do know that being alone does not frighten me. Even in a new house. Even with the doors unlocked. I've been living here for quite some time alone, with 2 cats. Every now and again I forget to snib the front door lock. Nobody has broken in yet.

Confront your questions about reality. The grey areas. What can you think of that you fear? How can you counteract that? What happens if you go to bed, terrified, and just let yourself cry through it? You can't be in a state of terror forever. Your body can't do it. So surely it must wear down at some point.

I wish I remembered how I changed. Cos I don't know. But it no longer scares me.

And maybe a sedative at bedtime. Just... something like quetiapine. Low dose. That just pops you off to sleep. Not dying will eventually show your body that you don't die.

Just relax or at least try to...nothing to be afraid of

Scared of darkness is just normal especially you're new to that place. You will get used to it and put another light in other corner outside the house. Just relax!