I recently moved in with this person about 2 and half months ago after dealing with another person who also had some mental health issues; (full disclosure I struggle with depression, anxiety and have ADHD as an adult woman in her mid 20s, so I also struggle with mental health issues). Now I have never dealt with a person who has BPD but from what I have heard and read up on these people struggle with impluse issues and have the fear of abandonment. Although I see alot of these things as in her I aslo think that its her way of manipulating certain situation to get what she wants, which makes me question whether she actually has bpd. Like I said we have lived together for about 2 and half months and she is still signed to the lease at her other apartment and paying me rent money but not on my lease. With that being said when she first started to make the transition of moving her belonging into the other room in my apartment I had disclosed wih her that my partner is frequent guest who comes and that we both need to be mindful of the common living spaces and they need to be kept up with. She is not signed to my lease however that was something that we had originally talk about. We sat down an talk about things that we both need from one another in order for things to work out. I explained to her that I like doing things a certain way and that I make sure to keep up with my pets that I have an dcleaning after myself an partner. The first couple of weeks I would notice things here and there and atempt to be communicative about just making sure they clean after herself and being mindful that we share the space and if she has to get ready t get ready in her own space. At first when I mention these things I didn't in any way mean to come across as bossy or controlling but that is what she expressed to me. I thought maybe that she was right but my partner was observing the convertations and interactions that we had with her. It eventually got to a point where she wasn't picking up after herself and I grew frustrated and when mentioning it to her she would again say that I was being controlling and nitpicking. My parnter said that is understandeble being frustrated and that I shouldn't have to tell her to clean up after herself and reassured me that I wasn't nitpicking nor being controlling. I began to not say anything and keep track of all the things that she didnt pick up and that I would. I would clean the kitchen even if wasn't my mess or even the bathroom. She began to send me little petty passive aggressive text messages about picking up after my puppies in the livingroom or making sure that I use foil in my airfyer. I would simply respond with my bad or not repond at all. It got so bad and started to make me feel unwelcomed in my home. My partner started to notice and explained to me that i need to talk with her and suggested a chore chart to help take the stress of cleaning the house by myself off of my shoulders. I did just that and again i was told that it was all me and i was the problem. It got worse and I began to get depressed and my partner grew frustrated with the situation and felt as though I was being manipulated and began to talk about options of asking her to leave. I explained to my partner that I don't want to lose out on a friend by asking her to leave. The straw that broke the camels back was a text message I recieve a couple nights ago reading, "hey please make sure to clean up after yourself and the puppies in the kitchen/living room, the torn up diapers/doggy bags by the door and mess from dinner, thanks". I was so frustrated and overwhelmed and i felt disrespected by what was sented to me becasue i cleaned up the kitchenand she had created a mess that i cleaned up and didnt ask her to help wth even though the mess wasn't mine. I woke up the next day and told her that i would like for her to stop using my dishes going forward and her response was that i was being a bit dramatic it only progress to escalate further and upset me more. I then told her that she had thirty days to figure out where to go because I couldn't continue to live and another toxic situation and becasue she isn't on the lease that i have ever right to ask her to leave. She began to tell me that i have f**k her over and that i need to talk to my mom to talk some sense into me. She began to rasie her voice and i began to rasie mine and she then told me not to rasie mine at her. It only began to further escalate and she began to cry but there was no tears. I explained to her while my voice was still raised why  i asked her to leave and that when trying to communicate in previous converastion that i was always met with i am the one who was in the wrong. Now I have cleaned the whole house with out being ask or asking for her help. It was really hard for me to sympothize with her when she was just telling me and calling me out for being someone who f**ked her and her crying and she went back to a regular face with no tears. I really am not the kind of person to throw anyone out and things would have to change. she agreed to follow up with the listing for the other place and to get her background check done to be on my lease but at this point i don't trust her enough to be on my lease and i really dont want her on there ...  What guidance does anyone have and what should i do i would like to sit down and talk with her about not feeling comfortable with being on my lease and am i being manipulated?