I was dignosed Sunday with anxiety, I had a real panic attack with numbness is legs and arms and problems breathing. About 2 weeks prior, I noticed I had been WAY more agitated that usual. I felt like I was on "permanent PMS" I started taking Klonopin and that seems to help some. I also find that reading for personal pleasure seems to help a lot too. I just started my 3rd Nicholas Sparks book and now I look forward to having my down time to read and just relax a little.

I'm not a doctor, but this sounds like pretty classical Anxiety to me. Everything you're describing, from how you feel to what seems to set it off, is exactly how Anxiety behaves. It also behaves in other ways. It's a different experience for almost everyone, but there are unique markers that kind of bind us all together.

It sounds to me like you've got a lot of worry centered around your job, the training, and your age relative to the group you work with. While 50ish may not be "spring chicken" it's also certainly not "old" either.

Xanax is a Benzo, meant to be fast-acting and take the edge off quickly. If it's not working for you, that doesn't mean you don't have Anxiety. It just means you may need a slightly higher dose. Check with your doctor. Benzos can be addicting, so you don't ever want to raise the dose on your own. Xanax is generally well tolerated and highly effective, but that's not always the case.

Regarding your husband - keep in mind that people who do not suffer from Anxiety, don't really have any frame of reference with which to understand Anxiety. The closest reference they have is simply "feeling anxious" - which is NOT the same thing as having Anxiety. Everyone "feels anxious" now and then.

The difference between them: Anxiety is what happens when your body goes into survival mode when there is no danger. It's called "Fight or Flight" by most doctors. You experience a trigger and your body thinks you are in danger. I've often used the illustration of being attacked by a tiger. If a tiger was stalking you, ready to pounce, the things you're feeling during your Anxiety episodes would be perfectly logical. The problem is, they're happening when there aren't any tigers.

So, what to do about it? You need to have a serious chat with your doc to make sure if you do or do not also have Depression. Like Anxiety, Depression doesn't necessarily mean you "feel depressed" all the time. It can be silent, and manifest itself in many idiosyncratic ways that would surprise you. If you do have Depression with Anxiety, your treatment needs to change. (Anxiety can cause Depression, and vice-versa, so you need to determine with your doc what's going on.)

If it's just Anxiety, then you need to find your triggers. What sets you off? You know of one already: when you have nothing to do or you're just sitting around with free time. That's one of mine too. If I spend too much time alone with my thoughts, I get super anxious.

But lots of things can be triggers. Thoughts, feelings, colors, smells, even lights or light patterns. Start writing down when you feel anxious. Describe what you were doing when it came on. Be thorough. Journaling has the added advantage of distracting you from your feelings, so the anxiety may not last as long. Once you see a pattern, you can try to take control of those triggers. You may also talk to your doc about a better medication regimen.

Most importantly, you need to remember that Anxiety itself cannot hurt you. It feels like you are in mortal danger, but you're not. Learning how to be okay with that, and to let the attacks come and let them pass, will dramatically decrease their frequency. That takes some skill, but it can be learned. When you feel Anxiety coming on, just remind yourself that it's okay. You've had it before. You'll get it again. It's just something you need to get through, like a headache or a toothache. It will pass if you don't feed it. Don't get worried, don't give into the fear to run, leave, whatever.

You're definitely not alone. The people in your life may not be as familiar with it, but you've come to the right place to know you're not alone. So many of us here suffer through these things daily. There's a LOT of experience and encouragement to be had, so hang in there. Anxiety is beatable - you can take your life back. You just need the right tools. Acceptance of the condition, positive self-talk, sometimes medication, and talk therapy, can all be powerful tools to get the best of it.

So hang in there, because there is still normalcy to be found and you can find it.

Thank you!
Kalebandj, I love to read too. I am now reading a series of Wanda Brunstetters books. She writes fiction stories about the Amish that I find easy reads. I grew up going to Middlebury Indiana, where my grandparents lived amongst the Amish, so they capture my interest.

However, with my racing mind lately, it is really hard for me to read and enjoy it. But I am going to give it a try...Darn this anxiety!

thegrimms, thank you for you very informative as well as supportive post, I truly appreciated it.

My family doctor states, I have had this mental anxiety before, that I should just remember it goes away...Easy for him to say, but not for me to realize when I feel this way.

He told me to take a Xanax the correct way, if needed. And as always he is firm on me NOT taking an antidepressant. He claims, that most antidepressants are underrated, don't truly work, and would most likely make me feel worse. However my therapist states different.

I of course working in the mental health field, in addition, anxiety is not new to me, aware of the pros and cons of medications, but as part of my anxiety just can't make any decisions on what to do. I just worry worry worry!!!

Then, my doctors, therapist, and the other "cooks in the kitchen" all have their own personal opinions on the pros and cons. and what I should do, therapeutic wise.

I now worry that maybe, this job is a bit overwhelming, and might be even after the training, just due to its contents. Assisting therapeutically, medically, and socially, mentally, abused and very anxious teens. Yikes, and I wonder why I am not feeling right?

My doctor states, I should be used to this type of work, but did say it is a very hard job.

But with that said, I also am very good at this position, work well with the teens by helping them with social skills, educational home work, and so on. Also, I have a great deal of empathy for them, due to my own personal anxiety that I experienced when I was a teen, and unfortunately now too, my beliefs and background.

I had many struggles as a teen, at home, in school, but made it on my own soon after HS. Even going to college, and graduating in high honors. I then got married, and was very fortunate to have an ideally wonderful daughter, who both her and her husband are youth ministers too. So, I know there is great hope for these teens!!!!

But, I often wonder if being around the constant chaos, just like watching to much bad news, or violent movies, is not good for ones mental health. Or, in my case, one who has a anxiety disorder too.

I know have slight depression on and off, but not to the point where I can't function, or don't enjoy life. The anxiety appears to be worse. But, presently it is hard for me to know just what is what.

I have taken care of my elderly parents the past 10 years, both in and out of the hospital many times, it was hard on me, and I did not work full time at all, both my parents recently passed away.

I have been married to a pretty good man, but our relationship has had many ups and downs. And always is a bit shaky. He drinks and becomes angry often too, and he is depressed often.

But I have been with him 30 years, so just used to it, I suppose.

Our house is also in renovation, mainly our kitchen, so it is a task to prepare meals. We are slowly working on it.

I have two lovely grand boys, age 1 and 3, both of us adore them, and my husband has always been a great father, and now grandpa, and the main supporter, a hard worker. But, with that said, he can also be plain out and out mean to me.

So, what to do, what to do? I guess I will have to just keep on, as best I can, and hope that this state I am in passes.

Thanks again.

Pattylyn

Have you had your hormones checked? If your hormones are out of whack It could cause you physical problems. I would talk to your doctor.