I am awake in these early hrs and cant sleep.  Thanks to all who gave me advice.  I'll stay and continue to look.  I'll be looking awhile.  There is apparently an influx of people looking for jobs.  I spoke to someone who called me yesterday and he said he had 200 resumes to go thru.  It's going to be challenging.  I'm going to stay and try and remain detached.  My boss went on yesterday about not being able to truly vacation because she was the only one to do all the work...I got angry and said firmly "Then maybe you need to hire someone for it".  Shes very toxic and I must shield myself from it as much as possible.  I just dont understand why they want me there.  

Am to the point where I wake up dreading the day and losing sleep...but what can I do now?  I'm to the point where i feel some days my sanity is not worth it.  I'd lose everything just to not feel the feelings I'm feeling.  I'm not an alcoholic...but this job has made me drink more than I ever have. I will try and find a counselor to talk to, although it's been difficult since I cant get off work to do it.  I have a dentist appt Fri and boss told me I had to make the time up.  She refuses not to pay me for the time but expects me to make my time up.  

Yesterday I asked for the week off in Sept for the wedding in SD.  I've never asked for anything there and have not taken more than a day off here and there.  As a matter of fact last year I still had vacation leftover that I had not used.  So, the one time I ask off she gives me a hard time and tells me she has payroll and billing that week.  It's a bad week to take off.  She finally approved it but I could tell she was not happy.  I've decided to start doing what's best for me but right now I just feel my sanity is being broken down.