Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I am so sick of people telling me to just relax, your stress will go away. Or just exercise, read a book, take up a hobby, go for a walk. It does not work for me and I am sick of hearing it. I just need help. I am already on citalopram for anxiety and depression. I feel as if I just cant take it anymore. I am so stressed I need help before I have a breakdown. Please give me some advice.
I used to be like you......when people would tell me I needed to relax, I wanted to slap them into next Tuesday. I thought "You have no idea what I am going through. If it were that easy, do you think I would be sitting here feeling as bad as I am?" But they are right.
You have to remember that we are looking at anxiety from the inside out. We are inside our heads, completely overly sensitized and over reacting to every single thought and feeling we have. Years of stress brought it to this point, and there is no way we can look at our situation clearly and objectively. We just know we feel bad, we are full of anxiety, everything seems like a threat, and we are too emotionally exhausted to get a handle on why. We are SURE there has to be more to it than just learning to relax. We think there is something definitely wrong or we wouldn't be feeling this way.
Other people are looking at it from the outside in. These are people who are NOT exhausted and who are thinking clearly and rationally. They see our anxiety for exactly what it is. It is plainly clear to every body who isn't in the fog of our mind to see what is going on. Especially people who know us well and who know we have a tendency to be high strung and full of worry. They see the truth. That we are need to learn to relax!! That we are just way too worked up and we need to calm down.
I am not talking about the kind of relaxing where you sit down and put your feet up for half an hour every night. I am talking about committing yourself to change your way of life, and incorporating daily muscle relaxation and deep breathing and positive thinking and eliminating "what if?" thoughts and the whole she-bang.
It is about retraining yourself and your brain to stop over-reacting to everything and to maintain a relaxed response no matter what situation you are facing. It takes commitment and it takes time. It can take months or over a year. But it works. It is about learning to relax your personality, not just your muscles. It is about learning to stay calm and not freak out over every little thing that happens. I guess, it is about becoming a more laid back person.
You can't completely change who you are. That is why meds don't usually work long term. Anxiety is a personality driven problem not a brain driven problem. But you can learn to change the way you respond to the stresses life gives you and decrease the amount of worry you do, which will decrease the amount of anxiety your brain produces.
You aren't going to have a breakdown. At least not the "cart her off to the mental institution" kind of breakdown. Anxiety doesn't make us crazy. But it makes us "feel" like we are going crazy, and this leaves us exhausted and unable to think clearly. I guess it could get to the point where you end up on the couch too scared to go anywhere or deal with life. I guess that is a kind of breakdown, and it happens to a LOT of people with this disorder. I know you don't want that for yourself . And I certainly didn't want that for myself, and that is why I spent hours every single day determined to make it better. And it works. Nobody has ever worked their butt off for months to do the things they need to do to learn to relax and then said, "Well that didn't work. I am still just as anxious as I ever was."
Anyway, that was my 50 cents...........still waving my white flag. :)
Now, all of this is true, but my problem (and I'm guessing yours too) is that deep down I ALREADY KNOW that everything they are saying is true but having it repeated to me in an unsympathetic manor doesn't help as it is not the 'not knowing the facts' that makes me panic, but rather not knowing how to controll my reaction.
People should really be made more aware of this disorder!
and lily girl, you are right on about everything u say you are a master at this! Become a therapist for this and you will be wonders successful!!! I want to become a therapist for this once i figure this thing out!. Honestly - I really dont feel liek there is much too it as we think there it. I feel like we think there is a big puzzle we need to solve, but its not! Its relaxing and retraining your brain. I mean that it is a hard thing to do but it seems like its more complicating than it is.
Best of luck to you!
Sounds dumb but it does work. Another thing go to the toilet. Bend over and look at the water. put your left hand on the flusher and flush. when it stops do it again and again and again. Imagine all that anxiety following the tail of water. After about ten times it becomes humorous. I use to do this in high school when I would get anxious. Everything that I would "dump" into the toilet I would force out of my head. It is hard at first but then it gets easier until it isn't even there anymore.
Also I have begun taking Vitamin B Complex and because I have many allergies and intolerances slow release Vitamin C. I am already feeling the benefit and its easier to control my feelings of anxiety and panic/.
Hope this helps you realise there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your situation is not hopeless.