Did I read it right that you let go of the stressful job 10 years ago and are now fairly content with your freelancing career?

For sure, I carry my anxiety stesses everywhere and it is often hard to know where I need to ply anxiety management tools and where I need to change my life circumstances.

Please receive my confusion as encouragement to discuss it further.

Gentle support, whichever way you take it.

I have not the slightest clue how to respond.

I couldn't even begin to guess if the job would be less stressful than ten years ago.

But you've got my sympathies. It can be hard to sort it all out.

why would you want to go back to the stressful job? Is it about meeting some unrealistic expectation?

Hi Did you say that you are broken down and trying to recover? If that's the case and you are not feeling stable at all, I would wait until you feel better. Make the changes first (like the coffee). It's hard to make changes when you're trying to
recover.
Personally I would give it time and do what you can to get yourself feeling better

hi. im sorry if i confused some of you. What im trying to say is i think my anxiety was worsen by my coffee intake. Which made me distracted, forgetful, etc etc, Anxiety can make you distracted and forgetful. SO im trying to say is if i give that up (coffee) my problem will be solved. Am i being impulsive or what?And that I could go back.

Truth was, we are not ok financially, and going back to that job will not only provide for us but it will also redeem me.

But tonight, depression is slowly creeping in, As you can see, maybe my decision making is not that realistic ... (lol im confused myself) .

I know that when your emotionally high or low u should not be making any decisions.

To be fully honest with you,, and I dont even tell my friends this, all I want to do is freelance. LET ME EXPLAIN.

After the break down,10 yrs ago i felt that my abilities and capabilities changed. Meaning i cant do the things i can do before. I am not that confident anymore. So im like doing whats best out of whats left. Call it mediocre but ive tried many things before in regards to this career thing, and i always end up stressed out and I always give up. Tbh, i was tearing my hair out because i dont know what to do.

The I found working from home. This is the only thing that i am comfortable with, knowing that my moods is unstable and i have anxiety.

I am very forgetful, and I honestly cannot bounce back easily to conflicts. So far, i know how to do with adminstrative work, i earned and I was happy, but it is rough because the contract just ended.

Everytime a contract ends, i become depressed, and knowing myself, i tend to slowly consider other options outside working from home. BUt other freelancers say that it takes time to build that clientele.

I have been working since MAy of this year and I had only 2 clients. Tbh, i should be looking for work and sending applications aggresively, but most of the time, i wasnt able to do that because i get sad. And i imagionie the worst.

as i write this, i realized that i am having an attitude problem, (not being proactive) and i am complaining and i am being negative.

by the way, the break down happened 10 yrs ago. and for 10 years, i wasnt able to cope up very well. then i found working from home which gave me hope.

Hmm. It's not the coffee. It's the actions associated with the coffee.

If you choose to go to the job again, it will be different in all ways from before. One, you've changed. This means your reaction will be different from before. You have different techniques that work for you, and if you work with regular hours, regular tasks, regular communication, it may be a positive move for you now.

Free lance is a good way to start, if you can make ends meet comfortably. If not, the added stress can match that of a high stress job during the rough moments.

Best wishes with what ever decision you make.

thanks :)