Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hi Everyone,
I recently had to write a paper on my experience with something related to addiction. Of course, I chose the most obvious addictive pattern that has addicted my life thus: alcohol drinking. I was never an alcoholic, but misusing alcohol has damaged my life and my sense of self in horrible way.
I began drinking alcohol heavily (but still socially) a few years ago. The alcohol gave me a lot of confidence, and I believe that it really advanced my social life because most of the time, it just made me think I was a better person. Everyone liked me better, etc. I had more friends, more dates, more fun.
I knew I was drinking to assuage anxiety. I would shake uncontrollably, not be able to speak and feel nauseated without it. So one day, I had the horrible idea of applying the same concept to the rest of my life: I began drinking in every situation that caused me anxiety. I would often be drunk in public, and I would carry hard liquor with me to most places.
It was a slow-ish transition, maybe that's why I saw nothing wrong with it. Eventually, I was drinking to avoid boredom and depression as well - not just anxiety.
It worked like a charm. Everything in my life was better: I even lost weight, and was skinnier than I had ever been. Other people drank to get drunk, but in my mind, I was drinking to feel sober. Unfortunately, it didn't ring any bells inside.
It only took a few months for it to stop working though. The quiet, calm confidence I would get from alcohol faded. No matter how much more I drank, it didn't work. It would just turn me into a more emotional version of what I was off of alcohol: way too hyper to sit down!!
I really wish that I had gotten the proper treatment for anxiety when I was 18. That's the first time it was HORRIBLE. I couldn't breath while lying down, I couldn't sleep, I was suicidal, etc. I was referred to a horrible psychiatrist. I called the office beforehand and asked how much time I would be given with this psych; they said I was guaranteed 30 minutes. It turns out this psych also had a family practice, and all I got was a 10 minute presentation about depression and a crude depression questionnaire where he labelled me as having Major Depressive Disorder and sent me off with a few question sheets to fill out. I didn't have time to say anything during that appointment save for answer his depression questionnaire!!
I walked out feeling empty. I sat on the curb outside his office for a very long time. I couldn't speak, so I didn't call to ask to be picked up. Instead I walked home nearly two hours. I gave up seeking treatment that day, until my alcohol problem nearly destroyed everything in my life.
I am reminded daily of the horrible, out of character things I did in social situations when I was just WAY too drunk. I wonder about all of the things that I don't even remember. I lost many people. I am reminded of my mother begging me not to drink; of raiding our house, of crying when I would beg her to let me drink one more day because I couldn't do X thing without drinking (and she would cry). I would drive drunk all the time... and not to clubs or parties, but to school; I regret endangering myself and others that way.
I guess I just want to put my experience out there. If you're considering drinking for anxiety, try something else first. I'm not here to say what's right or wrong, but something that can seem so innocent (drinks with friends) can turn into something really bad if you're doing it for the WRONG reasons. There are ways to help yourself. And if you come across one or two or three bad mental health professionals, don't give up like I did.
No student should carry a bottle of gyn to class everyday. No mug should be filled with red wine at 7 a.m. When I think about alcohol now, I just feel a lot of pain; I don't drink it anymore. The thought of its smell and taste make me feel so much hurt, and the prospect of losing all of my control like I had when I was at my worst is horrible.
I have nothing against alcohol per se; I know that I used it in completely the wrong way.
As well, my textbook for this class failed to discuss alcohol and anxiety much. But I can't think of a state of mind that would drive someone to drink more than anxiety (except maybe depression).
You don't have to be an alcoholic to admit that you have a problem. And you don't need to be an alcoholic to need help (and get it)!
I recently had to write a paper on my experience with something related to addiction. Of course, I chose the most obvious addictive pattern that has addicted my life thus: alcohol drinking. I was never an alcoholic, but misusing alcohol has damaged my life and my sense of self in horrible way.
I began drinking alcohol heavily (but still socially) a few years ago. The alcohol gave me a lot of confidence, and I believe that it really advanced my social life because most of the time, it just made me think I was a better person. Everyone liked me better, etc. I had more friends, more dates, more fun.
I knew I was drinking to assuage anxiety. I would shake uncontrollably, not be able to speak and feel nauseated without it. So one day, I had the horrible idea of applying the same concept to the rest of my life: I began drinking in every situation that caused me anxiety. I would often be drunk in public, and I would carry hard liquor with me to most places.
It was a slow-ish transition, maybe that's why I saw nothing wrong with it. Eventually, I was drinking to avoid boredom and depression as well - not just anxiety.
It worked like a charm. Everything in my life was better: I even lost weight, and was skinnier than I had ever been. Other people drank to get drunk, but in my mind, I was drinking to feel sober. Unfortunately, it didn't ring any bells inside.
It only took a few months for it to stop working though. The quiet, calm confidence I would get from alcohol faded. No matter how much more I drank, it didn't work. It would just turn me into a more emotional version of what I was off of alcohol: way too hyper to sit down!!
I really wish that I had gotten the proper treatment for anxiety when I was 18. That's the first time it was HORRIBLE. I couldn't breath while lying down, I couldn't sleep, I was suicidal, etc. I was referred to a horrible psychiatrist. I called the office beforehand and asked how much time I would be given with this psych; they said I was guaranteed 30 minutes. It turns out this psych also had a family practice, and all I got was a 10 minute presentation about depression and a crude depression questionnaire where he labelled me as having Major Depressive Disorder and sent me off with a few question sheets to fill out. I didn't have time to say anything during that appointment save for answer his depression questionnaire!!
I walked out feeling empty. I sat on the curb outside his office for a very long time. I couldn't speak, so I didn't call to ask to be picked up. Instead I walked home nearly two hours. I gave up seeking treatment that day, until my alcohol problem nearly destroyed everything in my life.
I am reminded daily of the horrible, out of character things I did in social situations when I was just WAY too drunk. I wonder about all of the things that I don't even remember. I lost many people. I am reminded of my mother begging me not to drink; of raiding our house, of crying when I would beg her to let me drink one more day because I couldn't do X thing without drinking (and she would cry). I would drive drunk all the time... and not to clubs or parties, but to school; I regret endangering myself and others that way.
I guess I just want to put my experience out there. If you're considering drinking for anxiety, try something else first. I'm not here to say what's right or wrong, but something that can seem so innocent (drinks with friends) can turn into something really bad if you're doing it for the WRONG reasons. There are ways to help yourself. And if you come across one or two or three bad mental health professionals, don't give up like I did.
No student should carry a bottle of gyn to class everyday. No mug should be filled with red wine at 7 a.m. When I think about alcohol now, I just feel a lot of pain; I don't drink it anymore. The thought of its smell and taste make me feel so much hurt, and the prospect of losing all of my control like I had when I was at my worst is horrible.
I have nothing against alcohol per se; I know that I used it in completely the wrong way.
As well, my textbook for this class failed to discuss alcohol and anxiety much. But I can't think of a state of mind that would drive someone to drink more than anxiety (except maybe depression).
You don't have to be an alcoholic to admit that you have a problem. And you don't need to be an alcoholic to need help (and get it)!
So happy for you!
Glad you read through it and commented, it means a lot to me!! It's a very private part of my life, but I feel it's worth sharing here.
Lucky - Thank you! I am glad I made the connection quickly as well. I can thank finals week in part for that. I needed something to work STAT and the alcohol wasn't. So I ran for the doctor's! It was my first time visiting a doctor in years. I am glad you have not turned to alcohol (worst)! Food can be used in just as much of an unhealthy way though, so I hope you are not struggling.
Personally, I have gained 30 pounds since then, and I love every ounce of it more than I ever loved all of me put together then -and yes, that's with self esteem issues even now.