Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hi All;
I haven't used this site in a while so figured I would check in with everyone - as well as to say hey! I am having a dilemma!
I have recently been seeing a new gentlemen in the past few months. When we first met off an online dating site, there were not the "sparks" or "love at first site" but merely fun with someone new, with a lot of laughs. He is a very outgoing say it how it is kind of guy. I am a bit more sensitive in respect to being timid. Opposities attract right? He has met my friends and family and all (but 1) think he is just a great catch for me. I really wasn't expecting anything - which was the beauty!
At any rate, things have been going very well for the first month! Lots of laughs and we were very close. However, it wasn't until about 2 weeks ago after a party I had noticed a different side to him. We had a miscommunication issue occur and we did what we could to fix it. He dropped me off and I felt uncomfortable displaying PDA on the street. He ended up leaving abrubtly without saying anything further. For me, not being in a relatioship for nearly 4 years, made me feel very uncomfortable - which triggerd a lot of anxiety for me.
For the following week I had suffered from panic attacks, churning stomachs, headaches, and shakes. I had an emotional breakdown and almost broke it off with him last Wednesday, thinking our relationship was the reason for this to be happening. It was a pending feeling of doom and gloom and I do not know where it had come from. The anxiety tappered off after I found out the next day that I my mother might have breast cancer. I figured that the anxiety that developed that week perhaps was me sensing someone was wrong as a "premonition" - which would explain my mom's health. I saw him that evening and he was very supportive. We had some great laughs that night and it felt like it was back to normal again. We had another "tiff" when I had made a comment to him that he was "embarressing me" as a joke - and he took it very personally. Yes, I made a mistake, apologized, but he ended up talking about it the next day again. The man is greek, very friendly, but very loud, and funny as hell!! He has told me that he would never do anything to hurt me and adores me. However, it just seems that lately I have been having these doubts about the relationship - almost like I can't be my authentic self anymore - like it feels fake at times. I really do not want to just "give it up" now as I know he is a great guy, we have great passion, and have amazing laughs together - but when it comes to conflict like this - I just freeze up. Also, he had mentioned to me today that he has now developed a wall of reservations after I had my little "melt down" last week. On top of this, I am trying to complete a university course and I open a musical theatre production in two weeks (both in a matter of a day from each other). It has been really hard to cope at work and with my other daily tasks. I really like him, but I feel almost sick to my stomach, and I don't know where it arises from. I have been put on ativan for a month and it seems to alleviate the symptoms. At any rate, our next few weeks will be busy and we will not be seeing each other as of much due to our other committments. I am just scared of screwing this up - by possibly loosing someone that could potentially be a soul mate in my life. Am I being too hard on myself and putting too many expectations? I do tend to over analyze things - a bit of a "Jittery Jessica" but that is just me. How do I relax and enjoy this ride? I am almost 34 years old and I would love to just grow up and suck this up - but its easier said than done! Now it seems we both have the reservations and we are spending a week apart. You all must probably thing im self-sabotoging this but I can only tell you what I feel. I know relationships have issues but really this many issues this early? Man I feel like a crazy! lol
Any suggestions or support would be greatly appreciated.
I haven't used this site in a while so figured I would check in with everyone - as well as to say hey! I am having a dilemma!
I have recently been seeing a new gentlemen in the past few months. When we first met off an online dating site, there were not the "sparks" or "love at first site" but merely fun with someone new, with a lot of laughs. He is a very outgoing say it how it is kind of guy. I am a bit more sensitive in respect to being timid. Opposities attract right? He has met my friends and family and all (but 1) think he is just a great catch for me. I really wasn't expecting anything - which was the beauty!
At any rate, things have been going very well for the first month! Lots of laughs and we were very close. However, it wasn't until about 2 weeks ago after a party I had noticed a different side to him. We had a miscommunication issue occur and we did what we could to fix it. He dropped me off and I felt uncomfortable displaying PDA on the street. He ended up leaving abrubtly without saying anything further. For me, not being in a relatioship for nearly 4 years, made me feel very uncomfortable - which triggerd a lot of anxiety for me.
For the following week I had suffered from panic attacks, churning stomachs, headaches, and shakes. I had an emotional breakdown and almost broke it off with him last Wednesday, thinking our relationship was the reason for this to be happening. It was a pending feeling of doom and gloom and I do not know where it had come from. The anxiety tappered off after I found out the next day that I my mother might have breast cancer. I figured that the anxiety that developed that week perhaps was me sensing someone was wrong as a "premonition" - which would explain my mom's health. I saw him that evening and he was very supportive. We had some great laughs that night and it felt like it was back to normal again. We had another "tiff" when I had made a comment to him that he was "embarressing me" as a joke - and he took it very personally. Yes, I made a mistake, apologized, but he ended up talking about it the next day again. The man is greek, very friendly, but very loud, and funny as hell!! He has told me that he would never do anything to hurt me and adores me. However, it just seems that lately I have been having these doubts about the relationship - almost like I can't be my authentic self anymore - like it feels fake at times. I really do not want to just "give it up" now as I know he is a great guy, we have great passion, and have amazing laughs together - but when it comes to conflict like this - I just freeze up. Also, he had mentioned to me today that he has now developed a wall of reservations after I had my little "melt down" last week. On top of this, I am trying to complete a university course and I open a musical theatre production in two weeks (both in a matter of a day from each other). It has been really hard to cope at work and with my other daily tasks. I really like him, but I feel almost sick to my stomach, and I don't know where it arises from. I have been put on ativan for a month and it seems to alleviate the symptoms. At any rate, our next few weeks will be busy and we will not be seeing each other as of much due to our other committments. I am just scared of screwing this up - by possibly loosing someone that could potentially be a soul mate in my life. Am I being too hard on myself and putting too many expectations? I do tend to over analyze things - a bit of a "Jittery Jessica" but that is just me. How do I relax and enjoy this ride? I am almost 34 years old and I would love to just grow up and suck this up - but its easier said than done! Now it seems we both have the reservations and we are spending a week apart. You all must probably thing im self-sabotoging this but I can only tell you what I feel. I know relationships have issues but really this many issues this early? Man I feel like a crazy! lol
Any suggestions or support would be greatly appreciated.
And about the joke. It was a misunderstanding which trust me happens a lot in relationships which can cause arguments but the key is to talk it out. my bf and I have a man miscommunications which have caused arguments and in the end they were stupid little things. Texting is one of the BIG things that causes communication as people read txts in their OWN tone and can make a simple txt into something awful and they txt u back all mad and it's like whoa where did that come from then u get mad. It's dumb.
Communication is key in a relationship. Do you feel comfortable yet openly talking about issues? I have been in a relationship for well I say just over 1.5 yrs as we started off as an LDR but I dont really count that part. But after our first year of being physically together things got a lot easier. We had our ups and downs in the first year which we always will but it was definitely a year of getting to know each other and learning about our relationship and learning of to communicate. We still have a ways to go but we are getting better.
I wouldnt take this as a sign of your relationship being doomed. Take it as a sign that your relationship has room to grow and get stronger which is great. You guys are just starting out of course your gonna have "Issues". You guys are learning how to work together as a couple.
Talking is key, like I have said about 50 times in this post lol ;P
You said "We had a miscommunication issue "...
Had this been resolved properly perhaps none of this would be happening. It does sound like you may have to face your fears with PDA. That can be important to people and can be a deal breaker, especially if not discussed openly. Sometimes we want to show off what we have, so to speak.
T
Also, I think that part of your own doubts now are coming around b/c you're scared of being hurt. You've shown a very vulnerable side of yourself b/c of the anxiety and his reaction wasn't necessarily what you expected. So he in turn hows doubts and that in itself is a bit hurtful to know. You just have to throw all of that out the window though! Maybe he'll flake and he won't be able to handle your anxiety, but don't let anxiety scared you away from dating someone that you are interested in. They will either love you and accept you as you are or they will not be able to handle it and the will move on. Remember, if they can't handle it then that means they aren't the right person. The right person for you won't be afraid to hold your hand while you freak out!
I really hope that everything works out great for you and your boyfriend, and I hope so much that your Mother is okay and that she doesn't have breast cancer. Best wishes!!!