Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I have a good friend who lives far away, in another country. She also suffers from anxiety, and we spent lots of long nights chatting about whatever came to mind and helping eachother through some really rough times.
The last time I had contact with her, she told me she was addicted to drugs. I urged her to get help, and she promised to think about it. I haven't seen or talked to her since. This was about 2 months ago. I don't know if she still gets on her old accounts (I don't have her phone number), but every few weeks I'll occasionally leave a message telling her how I'm doing and telling her I'm cheering on her recovery.
I worry about her, though. As much as I want to believe she's at a rehab facility, getting help, and that's why she's not responding, part of me worries (I'm an expert at that.) she's in some alleyway, burned out on whatever she was taking (She didn't want to be too specific).
So, I have two questions:
1. Do you think it's okay that I'm leaving these messages? One every few weeks, but I worry it might be too much. What if she thinks I'm annoying or being unhelpful? I worry about that all the time, and she used to tell me I never had to worry about bothering her with a message, she was happy to talk, but now I'm not so sure. Would there be a better way of trying to reestablish contact?
2. Is there any way to reduce the amount of worrying I'm doing over this? I know there's no magic bullet, but any tips or comfort helps.
The last time I had contact with her, she told me she was addicted to drugs. I urged her to get help, and she promised to think about it. I haven't seen or talked to her since. This was about 2 months ago. I don't know if she still gets on her old accounts (I don't have her phone number), but every few weeks I'll occasionally leave a message telling her how I'm doing and telling her I'm cheering on her recovery.
I worry about her, though. As much as I want to believe she's at a rehab facility, getting help, and that's why she's not responding, part of me worries (I'm an expert at that.) she's in some alleyway, burned out on whatever she was taking (She didn't want to be too specific).
So, I have two questions:
1. Do you think it's okay that I'm leaving these messages? One every few weeks, but I worry it might be too much. What if she thinks I'm annoying or being unhelpful? I worry about that all the time, and she used to tell me I never had to worry about bothering her with a message, she was happy to talk, but now I'm not so sure. Would there be a better way of trying to reestablish contact?
2. Is there any way to reduce the amount of worrying I'm doing over this? I know there's no magic bullet, but any tips or comfort helps.
In your situation, yes I'd be worried about my friend's well-being, but I'd also be worried just in general. When people do not return my messages I worry that they don't like me anymore and I have lost a friend, and I also simply am very impatient waiting for replies to my messages. Even my impatience turns to anxiety.
Since you asked for advice, IMO it is her turn to get back to you, and if she isn't doing it then that is her loss because she is losing a good friend who truly cared about her. If something really serious happened that you don;t know about, if she wanted to reach out to you she would. People in friendships sometimes vow to always be there for the other person, etc. but then they sometimes change their minds. It can be very painful, but it happens. She knows you are there, so she'll get back to you if or when she is ready to. If she inferred that maybe there was more going on than friendship, maybe she has a new partner. or maybe she likes her addiction more than people.
I my experience, the best thing to do would be for me to realize that some of my concern is not for her but for my own anxiety to go way. I would talk it over with my therapist and psychiatrist. AND I would try to make a new friend to fill the void. Sometimes friendships sun their course, but the good news is that there are plenty of other people who want to make friends.
I hope you have a good day.