Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Anxiety Disorders
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JStan81
JStan81

Hello, I am a new member at DS and I think that it is great to have a place like this where we can share our stories and not feel like we are being judged. Anyway I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for about 15 years or so now. I have found over the years that it tends to cycle for me where it will be under wraps for a while and then it gets horrible for a while. I am currently taking wellbutrin, lexapro, and Xanax for my illness. I have been on many combinations of medicine over the years.  Lately, my depression has been the worst that it has ever been. I find myself having suicidal thoughts several times a day and some days I can't even find the strength to get out of bed. I am really worried because I have missed a lot of work due to my depression. I have FMLA coverage for my illness but I know if my employer really wants to fire me they will find a way to do so.  I am terrified of losing my job and of what people at work will think about me if they find out what's going on with me. This thinking only makes my anxiety go sky high and makes me terrified of going back to work and facing everyone. I don't know how to find the strength to go back to work and face my boss and my co workers. If anyone has any suggestions as to how I can make myself get back to work I would greatly appreciate it. 

Sjelevenn
Sjelevenn
Hey, JStan81! I'm sorry that you're going through such a horrible time! I'm confident that it will get better, and you probably are too - on some level - but that doesn't make it feel any less horrible.

Is there anyone at work with whom you'd feel comfortable talking about your illness?
bookmaven
bookmaven
Your illness is no one's business but your own. Take the steps to go back into work. Ignore the whispers and the questions - if you feel the need to say anything just say you needed time off to deal with health issues. If your boss or a supervisor makes a comment that's grounds for a lawsuit - HIPAA protects your private health information. As for getting up the gumption. I know it seems like a mountain to climb. Take it one step at a time. Arrange for half days if you can, and read the War of Art which will help motivate you and help you come up with a plan to return to face the workplace that you can live with. It's hard. I know. But you can face the harshest critic, which is yourself. If things become too overwhelming, however, look into Social Security Disability. Contact a lawyer through the NOSSCR referral service and learn about your options. You may also want to check out the website social security disability secrets. Good luck.
lilstarsmum
lilstarsmum
Welcome to DS, friend.
I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. My heart goes out to you. I know it’s not easy to go through depression and anxiety. Please know that your life is precious, and putting an end to your life with never solve your problems. It’s good you’re taking medication. Have you ever considered talking to a therapist/counselor? A caring professional might be able to help you cope with your difficulties. Do you have a support group nearby where you can connect with people regularly? I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His peace and provide the help you need at this time. Stay strong. Hope you’ll feel better soon. Hugs!
Diane22
Diane22
I had the same issue w work years ago. I went out on disability and they found some lame reason to fire me. But my panic was so crippling I couldn't function. I have also been on various meds. Recently my condition got worse and i take 300mg of welbutrin and the doctor threw in Prozac. I was on prozac yeara ago and it worked well. I also find meditation music and muscle relaxation tecnique to help w the anxiety. Sometimes u have to juggle and switch meds up when they start to conk out. U def should be seeing a therapist. Cognitive behavior therapy is supposed to be excellent. I haven't started yet but will be soon. Just remember the feelinfs.and thoughts of suicide is the illness not u. And f those people at work. Your well being is more important than any job. Remember that.
Diane22
Diane22
And also I took Xanax for years and recently I switched to klonopin. It is a much better way to control anxiety. I noticed it doesn't give u that zombie sleep feeling like Xanax does.
cachetteen1
cachetteen1
Understand that feeling scared and anxious is part of u, so u must visualize yourself doing it very scared and very anxious. Practice. Do a walk through. Pretend u are an actress in a role, go to your job when no one is there, get dressed ready, and drive there- no one will know- walk through the feelings..keep walking. And then go. You've already done it before. There is no shame in your feelings. If u had a broken leg would u feel shame in limping? You have no idea what anyone thinks there and there thoughts do not out weigh yours. They can think what they want, just as u can think what u want about them, but u don't need to confirm or deny. I know how u feel. To care too much. I know what it feels like to not be able to get out of bed, and to fight, and keep fighting until u just cant go on anymore- and that's when u pray- not to god , or some brainwashed version of reality, but u pray, u hope u wish, u close your eyes and let the tears wash every fear away until u can breathe again, and a new thought will come. If I could walk in your shoes for u I would, I would hold my head high and make u so proud. But I cant, so maybe u can do the very best for yourself that u can. U owe yourself that. If I can go on, even when I don't want to, so can u. You can. One breath at a time.
Camogirl
Camogirl
Im sorry your struggling so much. When i get into my really dark days i find that its a little easier to get through if i take the take day step by step and set small attainable goals throughout the day. And when you do go back to work you dont have to explain yourself to anyone if you dont want to and if they ask just tell them its personal. Just take it day by day and try to hold onto the hope that it will get better. I wish i could offer more help. Hugs to you, good luck