Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I dunno what we all did over this festive holiday, but I felt I really needed to get out and meet some new people, so I ventured down to Fort Lauderdale beach and walked around, stopping into a bar for a couple drafts.
I always feel anxious as hell about whooping it up and being crazy (maybe I'm not all that crazy), or even initiating new conversations. A couple beers in me and I start to relax and realize that the environment is non-threatening, that everyone else is as scared and trepidous as I am. Wish I could do this alcohol-free, but it's really hard for me to warm up to and relax with and TRUST new people, even though I know that this is exactly what I'm going to have to do if I want to be happy.
I have a hard time giving up CONTROL, of my own soul. I know I'm right NOT to trust others (or even trust myself AROUND others when I've had too much to drink), but I have to give up a little control in order to let someone in, which is what I want to do, because I'm lonely.. I suppose, if I perceive a threat, I can leave...!
Anyone else feel the same way? How do you conquer your own social fears, tear down your walls, and let others in?
I always feel anxious as hell about whooping it up and being crazy (maybe I'm not all that crazy), or even initiating new conversations. A couple beers in me and I start to relax and realize that the environment is non-threatening, that everyone else is as scared and trepidous as I am. Wish I could do this alcohol-free, but it's really hard for me to warm up to and relax with and TRUST new people, even though I know that this is exactly what I'm going to have to do if I want to be happy.
I have a hard time giving up CONTROL, of my own soul. I know I'm right NOT to trust others (or even trust myself AROUND others when I've had too much to drink), but I have to give up a little control in order to let someone in, which is what I want to do, because I'm lonely.. I suppose, if I perceive a threat, I can leave...!
Anyone else feel the same way? How do you conquer your own social fears, tear down your walls, and let others in?
Of course a little 'dutch courage' helps. and yes I too would love to have confidence and self assurance without having to take something to calm the anxiety. Maybe in time and continuing on our healing paths we will overcome these fears that we have.
Trust is such a major part of starting and building relationships. And whether alcohol or any other substance is in the mix or not to help in our initial 'breaking the ice' with someone, it is still probably natural for most to be apprehensive because you never know who you are 'opening' up to.
You are right the majority is probably feeling just as scared as ourselves, but there are prowlers out there who manipulate and deceive and so being cautious is maybe wise to a certain degree.
I suppose trusting ourselves is very important and trusting that we can make the right choices in who we befriend is part of life's experience. The more we get out and about and meet people, the more we may be able to figure who is ok and who isn't, Some people have a natural instinct or discernment. I think I have it, so often I have been right about my instincts but maybe I am overly paranoid too at times.
Anyhow I probably went off topic.
The main thing is you went out there and did it.
However, when it comes to men, I'm pretty good at picking out hidden "agendas". Working under a guy now who keeps hinting that he wants me to take over his entire company, which (God) I DO NOT want to do...got my own company to run...'09 was just a really lean year and I needed a part-time job to supplement. He gets it but is still persistent...
Thanks.
I have no advice because I'm still stuck there. I've begun to isolate myself more and more over the years. I hope you break free of this thing. I'm sure you'll get a lot of good advice from others here. So, I'm just going to tag along and maybe learn a trick or two myself.
Best wishes, I so know how you feel.
Nah, I don't think alcohol is a problem for me...I might binge on the stuff one day and then not touch the stuff for two weeks, so I can take or leave the stuff...it does take the edge of nervousness tho...
Thanks!