Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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rskb3 10/09/2013

Hi everyone I really need your advice on something that I have been waffling back and forth with what I should do. I am suppose to go to a city that is about 3 1/2 hours away from my home, the last two times I went to this city I threw up the whole way up there and back and it took a few days to about a week to recover from that trip. The last time I went to this city was over a year ago so maybe I could handle it now I don't know? I am suppose to go on Saturday and I have been feeling anxious about this since Monday. This is an important trip because my mom is getting married in March and I am one of the bridesmaids so we are suppose to go to this city to pick out a wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses. All of my sisters are going because we are all bridesmaids. My mom and my sister are kind of making me feel guilty because I told them I don't think that I can go, so now I feel obligated to go. The thing is, is that this past winter I went through a horrible time I was ready to end it all, but somehow I made it through, I am doing ok now, I am able to function, take care of my family, take care of my house, and take care of my schoolwork. I am scared if I push myself to far that I might have a set back and I can't go back to that again, I barely survived so I don't think I can do it again. So my question to you is do you think I should chance it and just suck it up and go or do you think that I should just try to tell my mom and sister that I really wish I could go but I can't put myself through it? Thanks for reading my post and I'm sorry that this is so long.

deleted_user 10/09/2013

I feel you can do either - if you feel that you can go that day you should go - this is better tell them that if you could leave it up in the air for now because you dont know how you are going to feel and go if it is a good day and if not you stay home - give yourself the choice! Dove

LuckyEmpath 10/09/2013

Sometimes the anticipatory anxiety is worse than the actual anxiety you may feel on that day. All the 'what-if' worry makes us more anxious. Because of this, it is actually very important that we face our fear and walk straight into it. That would mean going on the trip. I would also suggest that you take the trip more often so you get comfortable with it before you have to go there for your mothers wedding. It's one thing to miss picking out a dress but another to miss the wedding completely.

It's shameful that your family is making you feel guilty about this. Their attitude is more about them than you though. They are thinking about what happens to them if you don't show up. It sounds silly, but it really isn't about you.

When you were so sick on the last trip was it because of anxiety or did you have a stomach bug?

I agree with Hurtingdove that you have choices. You can let your family know that it is not possible for you to attend this weekend. Or, you can decide to face your fear and go. Will someone be going with you? Maybe if someone is with you it will make it better for you.

Let us know what you decide. Breath deep and remember, you always have a choice.

dazedanconfusedd 10/09/2013

Oh I do not do well in big cities or long trips either dear, so I know exactly how you feel! People, even my husband told me the same thing, well just do it a couple times and face those fears and it will get easier, but it never does! Luckily I have only had to ride by myself to the big city twice. Once 2 1/2 years ago when husband had a heart attack and then about 4 months ago when he had to have another heart surgery.

Only way I got through was my xanax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that was different with me is the first time, I didn't have time to think about it, I had to be there at 6am and I had no choice, but this last time it was a scheduled surgery well in advance and I had weeks to think about it. The trip there as ok, as husband drove......but they said they wanted to keep him overnight andI about went through the ceiling!

HOLY CRAP, that means I have two trips to the city to make all by myself. The ride home was just horrible, It takes me about an hour and a half to get home and I the trip home took me almost 3 hours as I had to keep pulling over as I felt sick or panic-y.

Going back the next day to pick him up, I took my xanax and a few good CD's and I did ok, but I pray I do not have to do it again!

I would leave it up in the air and if you feel good that day go , if not do not go! I am assuming somebody will be going with you to the wedding right? So if you can't make it to the dress thing, you will at least go to the wedding. A major set back now would have a devestating effect in my opinion, but you know yourself better than anybody!

You have choices, so you are not in a corner darlin. just remember that! Choices are good to have!

Best of luck!

rskb3 10/09/2013

Thank you for all of your responses, the good news is that the wedding is close to were I live but we don't have any big shops in my town that is why we have to go to the city. I think that I will leave it up in the air and take my own vehicle so if I don't feel up to it then I won't go. I hope I can do it! I will let you all know. Thanks again for your advice I appreciate it very much. I hope that you are all doing well. And daze I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that with your husband. I hope that he is doing well now.

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