Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
my ocd anxiety
here's an example of my type of anxiety. i have a doctor's appointment at 3;30 today. a friend is going to drive me because i find it hard to drive very far. so, all day... actually since last night i've been going over in my mind the time schedule. when he will get here, will i be ready?, will i feel sick?, why is my heart rate increasing? should i just cancel????
i've been counting how many hours i have before we leave. 6 hours, that's good. 4 hours.. getting close, less than 2 hours... can i still do this? should I back out?
now, i have been going over and over in my head all the things i need to ask the doctor. first of all... what am i forgetting? will i be able to express myself so he understands? what if he answers me and i don't understand? what is really important and what is not in his field of expertise? i've actually practiced what i want to say to the doc. he already knows i am a very anxious person. so will he just dismiss it all as anxiety? am i going to get blown off by the doctor?
now it's getting closer. what should i wear? short sleeves for the blood pressure reading? i know it will be high because i have white coat syndrome. will i explode?? should i take a shower first? do i have to brush my teeth again?
ok... i finally took half a xanax, my zantac and a tylenol. i've been checking my heart rate all day. it's been a little high, but coming down now that the xanax is working. but it will go back up.. i'm sure.
so, this gives you a little idea of the torture that my mind goes thru every day. can't sleep because i can't turn my mind off at night. yikes!
is anyone else this screwed up? and why have i become like this??
here's an example of my type of anxiety. i have a doctor's appointment at 3;30 today. a friend is going to drive me because i find it hard to drive very far. so, all day... actually since last night i've been going over in my mind the time schedule. when he will get here, will i be ready?, will i feel sick?, why is my heart rate increasing? should i just cancel????
i've been counting how many hours i have before we leave. 6 hours, that's good. 4 hours.. getting close, less than 2 hours... can i still do this? should I back out?
now, i have been going over and over in my head all the things i need to ask the doctor. first of all... what am i forgetting? will i be able to express myself so he understands? what if he answers me and i don't understand? what is really important and what is not in his field of expertise? i've actually practiced what i want to say to the doc. he already knows i am a very anxious person. so will he just dismiss it all as anxiety? am i going to get blown off by the doctor?
now it's getting closer. what should i wear? short sleeves for the blood pressure reading? i know it will be high because i have white coat syndrome. will i explode?? should i take a shower first? do i have to brush my teeth again?
ok... i finally took half a xanax, my zantac and a tylenol. i've been checking my heart rate all day. it's been a little high, but coming down now that the xanax is working. but it will go back up.. i'm sure.
so, this gives you a little idea of the torture that my mind goes thru every day. can't sleep because i can't turn my mind off at night. yikes!
is anyone else this screwed up? and why have i become like this??
What can make a difference is having things be not negotiable. I used to find that I didn't worry over things that were not negotiable. But everything was negotiable. Heh.
Is going to the doctor actually negotiable? What happens if you back out? Does it go away or do you just go through this all over again on some later date?
So it's not really negotiable is it. In fact, if you reject the doctor at hour 2, you have gone through 4 hrs already.... that you will have to do again. That's terribly inefficient. If you really hate and fear the anxiety, then not going is worse than going in terms of total horror time.
So just ask yourself what's negotiable. Shift focus from the small thing: 'what blouse'? To the big thing 'in africa they have no blouses. the doctor probably did a few years there. The doctor probably doesn't give a stuff what I am wearing.'
Taking it back. Pulling it back. Forcing the bigger picture in. Feeling the terror build and saying 'no, I'm not letting this terror build' and racing off and putting on some loud thrashy distracting music.
Distraction when you can; endurance when you can't, but don't listen to your mind, don't believe your mind. Tell your mind it's wrong. Tell your mind it's misfunctioning. Try to trick your mind.
You're smarter than your mind. And you are going to have to out manoeuvre it. That's what I had to do, anyway.
I look back and I can't believe my life was that awful, always had been, nobody noticed, nobody helped, I thought what I went through was normal. lol.