Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I've been anxious most of the day which made me feel vulnerable most of the day. When this happens I often search for reason I should be feeling this way when in fact it often is just a warning from god to be prepared for my X to cause chaos in my home.
Here's is todays chaos. A small vision into my crazy rollercoaster world with my X.
Last night he emailed me to ask if he could send a computer home with our child. I agreed with hesitation only because our child has issues focusing on the main task which is and will always be school and homework. We have 3 computers at our home already, in fact my spouse is a computer specialist (this is daily job). His fathers reason for sending another computer to our home is because I will not, nor will my spouse let our child play some video games on the computers we have here at the home. As most video game that are linked through some sort of sight such as facebook can carry virus's. Anyway, his father is very big on giving our child all that he wants. He purchased him a Samsung tablet that I have constant issue with at the home as it is, so another electronic device was not a welcomed item I would have chose for our child. BUT, like I said I agreed. My only condition was that my spouse set it up with the appropriate security system needed for the computer so it wouldn't effect our internet system here at the house.
My X called and our son was not paying attention to his phone. This caused him to send a series of emails ( I have him blocked from sending texts to my phone due to harassing texts). Well these emails started with, how dare I not respond to his emails or have our child answer his phone (keep in mind he never calls on Monday nights), to how dare I let my spouse set up the computer because he showed our 8 Year old child how to do it himself, to your such a ugly person and I am glad I don't have to deal with you anymore.
Now almost 10 emails later I have yet to respond to him. Because no matter what I say he will always find fault and he will always say hateful mean things that make little to not sense to our situation as it is now.
ugh......
I hate this
Here's is todays chaos. A small vision into my crazy rollercoaster world with my X.
Last night he emailed me to ask if he could send a computer home with our child. I agreed with hesitation only because our child has issues focusing on the main task which is and will always be school and homework. We have 3 computers at our home already, in fact my spouse is a computer specialist (this is daily job). His fathers reason for sending another computer to our home is because I will not, nor will my spouse let our child play some video games on the computers we have here at the home. As most video game that are linked through some sort of sight such as facebook can carry virus's. Anyway, his father is very big on giving our child all that he wants. He purchased him a Samsung tablet that I have constant issue with at the home as it is, so another electronic device was not a welcomed item I would have chose for our child. BUT, like I said I agreed. My only condition was that my spouse set it up with the appropriate security system needed for the computer so it wouldn't effect our internet system here at the house.
My X called and our son was not paying attention to his phone. This caused him to send a series of emails ( I have him blocked from sending texts to my phone due to harassing texts). Well these emails started with, how dare I not respond to his emails or have our child answer his phone (keep in mind he never calls on Monday nights), to how dare I let my spouse set up the computer because he showed our 8 Year old child how to do it himself, to your such a ugly person and I am glad I don't have to deal with you anymore.
Now almost 10 emails later I have yet to respond to him. Because no matter what I say he will always find fault and he will always say hateful mean things that make little to not sense to our situation as it is now.
ugh......
I hate this
I wish I had some words of wisdom that would help you become less fearful of him, but I don't. I have been healing from all the fear I felt when I was abused as a child and that person is not even in my life any more. I can not imagine the fear when the person is still around and harassing you.
I know you have said before that you are working with a therapist. Does s/he have any advice on how to help yourself feel stronger around your ex? I know you have said how far you have come personally and I think that is great. I hope that as you continue to work on yourself you begin to see how strong and powerful you are and the fear starts to fade away.
Take care
Thank you!! I am working with her for both our child and I to learn coping exercises to deal when we are feeling high anxiety. I have only had one session with her. I am hoping the more we met the better I can utilize what she has taught us.
I have grown so much. At the point he has taken me by now in the past I would've been sick to my stomach and in a high depression. I no longer get that bad anymore. I have learned to use my voice which he tries to use against me but I know better and I am very careful to not get caught in his tit for tat game he likes to play with people. You are right with the fact that everyone he communicates with is subject to his ego.
I am very proud of where I am but I am certainly look forward to getting even further and stronger. I know it will happen. Just have to be patience.
Thank you again.
Shelby
You are right....he feeds off of the drama.
Thank you :0)
Shelby
What really stands out to me is the fact that the father of the real father is attempting to undermine you, the parent.
I was always angry when my father and abuser in any way attempted to parent my child. How dare he, I had my son watched by my parents for a couple of hours only once because of that fact. Imagine a father that sexually abuses you as a child and then tries to tell you how to raise your child.
There were many times when he was close to a whooping.
Yes this is what I had been doing. And you are right, he was mad or irritated at first.
I don't know why I felt the need to give him one last chance. Like someone else told me (and I agree) how many last chances does someone get until there are no more. Well there are no more. I have not nor will I answer any emails.
Thank you for the info :)
Shelby
Yes I am still learning how to deal with him. But I am confident I can do this time.
Thank you
Shelby
So, here is the co-op I propose. You filter my mail and break bad news to me gently and I'll nip round and take care of your rude ex problem by inserting that tablet into his small intestine...... Anyone else want into the co-op? Lol
Seriously though, I'm sorry he's giving you an awful time. What I would suggest is emailing him back saying "you'll reply when he has a civil tongue in his head and when you're good and ready to reply considering his previous rudeness." Then say " If he would be so good as to rephrase his arguments into a more polite fashion you'll answer him tomorrow."
I guess my strength with people has to do with the fact neither of my parents ever took crap from anyone, but otherwise my mom was the biggest worry wart on the planet over things that were out of her control and I picked up on that.
you stick up for yourself girl. Don't be anyones doormat espescially a wart of a man like that who would disrespect his childs mother. You'll feel worlds better after you face him down and once he sees you have some iron in your backbone he won't push anymore. Emails are good because you can choose your words. Make a point of not saying sorry ever to a man like that full of "how dare you" crap. You owe him nothing, espescially not explanations.