I don't think you have a negative natural self.
You're tired and under pressure. Take yourself away from the obligations and pressure, are you still negative?

When you have worked through this all it will become easier. It does become easier.

I'll be struggling with mom untill she dies or has no choice but to go in nursing home. Yes, I have been negative all my life. Or since I was young. I think I learned it from mom. Who has been negative all my life.

Barbara

There are SO may books out there it can be tricky to find one that's right for you. If you enjoy the bookstore, go spend an afternoon looking at the self-help section and read the first couple of pages of each book that strikes your interest. That's the best way to evaluate whether or not you like the author's approach, tone, etc.

I'm a huge fan of shopping on amazon, and many times you can read the first few pages online.

One book that always comes up in conversations about trying to be more positive is "The Power of Positive Thinking." I've heard wonderful things about it, and it's on my ever growing list of books to read.

Best of luck!

Everyone is different, so find something that works for you.

I personally love "Embracing the Fear" by Judith Bemis. (I've met her in person and she's very down-to-earth". Judith had a lot of panic issues and agoraphobia, so she has actually gone through a lot of the same symptoms.

The reason I like the book is because I felt like I was constantly trying to make my panic go away and it wouldn't, no matter what I did.

This book offfers different ways to deal with anxious symptoms, including "what if's", running throughts, etc. It really helped me to stop fighting so hard, which was a drain on my emotional energy.

Keep posting and let us know if you find something that works for you!