Oh yes, I definately have issues with control!
I hate it because my dad was controlling and I always associate the word with someone who is abusive, and that's not me. I am not and do not ever want to be like my dad.

My need for control is around:

Feeling like I need to push my partner into growing more and being a better person that she is but is choosing to stay put in life.
She has so much to give and I feel she is throwing her life away. She feels she can't adapt to change even when it's for the better, she'd wrather stick where she is familiar even if it's miserable. I hate that for her.
I want a partner that will grow with me, I feel like I'm doing most of the work in the relationship. She keeps walls up too, she's afraid of being vulnerable. I try to show her it's ok, she is safe with me, but it's still hard. I rarely see her cry, she would still wrather use her pride and hide it from me, but she is hurting herself in holding it all in. It hurts because of how open I am with her. Why won't she give back the same as I give out?
I feel so stuck and often wonder if I should drop her and find someone better, but she is so fragile and I'm afraid if I do that she may try to end herself.

Also with this anxiety thing I feel like I need to control what happens around me and with my body. Sometimes I wonder if people lie to me when I'm having an episode when they tell me I'm fine, when it could really be something serious. I have to know everything that is going on, I hate being surprised by something negative popping up. and also when someone says something one minute and then somthing else the next, that is another thing I can't stand.

It's hard to just let that go and trust that things will get better on their own without me trying to force it so much. I have so much overflowing love in my heart and I wish I was able to use it better for the things I feel I must try to control. I think I have to many expectations of how things "should be". I need to figure out how to accept things and see what is actually there instead of being so focused on how i'd want them to be and then end up being dissapointed any everyone wondering wtf.

I know the only thing I am responsible for controlling is myself, saying it and doing it is a whole other ball game though. I feel I have no tools in my hand in these matters to get rid of the control. I'm missing the tools and don't know where to find them.

Ok am done ranting, sorry if it is too much info at one time. These are things that float around in me about what can be "fixed." lol!

Love and Light,

~Laura

I have control issues too. I would never admit that until a few months ago. I didn't even realize it honestly. I want to make sure everything is like I want it and then that means everything is okay and that I won't be anxious. The real world doesn't work that way though.

A lot of people say, 'let go and let God', but I have a REAL hard time with that one!

yea im a controler and very stubbern too. I have a thick skull like my dad hahahaha. i like to know whats going on and what the steps are and what the plan is.......and when its out of my control thats when i go within myself and really cater to my ED which is not good

and Ambrialeigh said it perfectly!!!!

Laura, we're both with the wrong people. If you were straight, I'd ask you out lol. You sound like me to a tee, or the "me" that I want to be. Warm, openly loving, continually growing, trying new things.

My Vietnamese occasional lady friend is the exact same way. I've given up trying to "influence" her, and we never tried living together anyway--we just date occasionally. She's got some pretty big walls up, so buries herself in work and then holes up in front of the TV until she dozes off in a coma. Not much passion on her end when we're together, or even talk about, either together or just on the phone. We text occasionally. Boring.