I don't have much advice except to say to talk to a health professional or a therapist. But I did want to stop in and say that I empathize. Hang in there.

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I went through something a little similar a few years ago.

For me, what made the biggest difference was changing my life circumstances -- being around more compassionate people, getting a better job, developing closer social bonds. Techniques like meditation and exercise help, but I personally found that living a life that was better for my emotional state was vital.

Are there issues in your life that trouble you? (It took me a while to realize that about myself, so doing introspection by talking to people, keeping a journal, etc. was helpful.)

I hope you're feeling better and that you'll stay active on this board to let us know how you're doing.

I lost both my parents in the last 3 years. My husband left me 3 years ago, and we were going through the divorce process. We started talking about getting back together. This was in Febuary..... and In march he was diagnosed with cancer. So I know I have had alot on my plate, but I need to find ways of dealing with things better. Because right now, its not working.

Wow Brittany. I'm so sorry. You do have an awful lot on your plate and you've suffered a lot of loss. May I ask if you are still in therapy? Do you have any close friends you can lean on for support? Possibly look into support groups in your area if there are any. As far as the driving anxiety, I can relate. I was diagnosed with panic disorder 8 years ago and I was suffering a lot of panic attacks while driving and almost wrecked a few times so I just stopped driving altogether for a year and a half. I drive now but not long distances and I avoid the interstate. I was able to drive by just starting slowly and taking baby steps. I understand that you have to drive to work. Do you have any meditation or relaxation CD's you can listen to in the car on the way to work to help calm you down?

I'm sorry I haven't offered much advice, but I'm truly sorry things are so difficult for you .

Big hugs~

LMT

Thank You, I have a great support system, I do try to lean on them. But nothing really makes me feel better. I still go once a week to therapy, and she says I am doing great. But I don't feel it at all. I just want to break down in tears because all this is becoming to much.

You're grieving Brittany. You can't win against grieving, it takes its own time. I grieved very badly for my marriage breakup, and I did some very dumb things trying to escape that grief, that caused more grief. All I wanted to do was sit in a corner and cry. I could barely feed my daughter, or the chickens. I developed GAD and major depressive disorder, although to be fair I was having a nervous breakdown anyway which is why the marriage ended.

Time is the only cure - but it IS the cure. It DOES cure. You don't have to worry for the future because it does turn a corner and start getting better. You barely notice at the time, but you can see it looking back.

What tricks have I learned?

Swimming. That helps. going aquajogging and then lazing in the hot pool. Even with no friends with me, without my glasses I am quite blind so I don't feel exposed or lonely.

Crying a lot.

Counselling

Antidepressants

Time.

Take care. I'm still not together after 5 years - I don't quite feel at home in my own home. Not the way I always used to. Don't feel like housework - some kind of disconnect. But otherwise I'm fine. Functioning at work, etc.

@bridgie..... You have described me to a tee. I have felt like this for years. This has caused a great deal of anxiety for me. There are times I don't even want to leave the house. I do, but most times that is my ssafe spot, and can't wait to get back there. Sometimes I want to go places, to meet up with friends, but that is where the driving issue kicks in, and I don't go. Not sure why the driving has become an issue, but it has.

Thank you for the kind words and suppport!!!!

Brittany, the best thing I did for myself was have 3 months off work. At the time I had carpel tunnel and had to wait for an operation - that was what they were told at work. the reality was I was crashing and burning.

The first month I didn't get out of my chair. I was numb, didn't want to have to relate to humans - couldn't relate. Couldn't remember what they were saying, etc.

the second month I barely did anything, but did feel a little brighter.

The third month I felt like going for walks a bit.

they also fiddled with antidepressants. One antidepressant I put on 10kg in 4 weeks. My daughter said afterwards I was dishing her up twice sized meals. I had no awareness of this. the antidepressant I settled for was a slight upper, so I didn't eat like crazy and felt more energised.

it still took over a year after that for me to feel safe relating to humans. but I can hold down a job and mostly get along.

I take Xanax only for my anxiety. I hate to have to take meds, but I do. My ex husbands terminal cancer, I know is what is driving this monster right now. I lost him to another woman, and now I am losing him to cancer. He no longer has anyone, and I feel for my kids sake, I need to ride this out with him. I am just burning at both ends.

It doesn't sound like therapy and current meds are working Something is of in your system.
Maybe you need to increase or add anti anxiety until you figure something out.
Hate to hear about your suffering.

Sorry to read what you are dealing with this. Its terrible not to find a place or space to stop. I use Mindfulness meditation. At least for the 15 or 30 minutes I am into it I feel disconected to the difficult-to-live world. Maybe try it? Its a very non-judgamental nor strict kind of meditation (we dont need that when feeling the way we do, right?)

And I agree. Time and the patience to let it run...

The best of lucks,