If you have to see your ex often this can be difficult. I have a brother who is highly toxic and manipulative so I had to break ties with him. I rarely see him now because I changed how I react to him amd his moods and he doesn't like it. Since he doesn't like the way I interact with him, he avoids me. And it's wonderful.

Is there a way you can avoid him?

At LuckyEmpath I have done all I can to avoid as much contact as we had. For instants I blocked him from my cell to avoid his constant texting, I don't continue with the "friendship" status with him that I thought would make things easier for my son, I don't reply to the threatening emails anymore, and I try to avoid being around him in person as much as possible. I know he hates me and tries anything he can to get a rise out of me because before the divorce I always caved to his every mood. I always knew he had issues, it wasn't until after the divorce that he was diagnosed bi-polar. So severe that the doctor upped his medication one month after he prescribed him meds. He now self medicates by smoking pot.

It sounds like you are doing all you can to keep him away from you but he still seems to sneak in anyway. I have learned that we can not change the way anyone else behaves but we can change how WE behave around them. Here are some things I have had to do with my brother in order to keep myself in a good place when I am around him.

1) He is a very angry person and anger is a huge trigger for me. If he gets angry around me I say to myself "His anger can not hurt me. I am safe" And to him I say something positive which usually stops him in his tracks. So if he says "The government is going to cause everyone to lose their jobs!" I will say "I choose not to believe that. I choose to believe that our government will find a solution".

2) When he uses racial slurs around me I reply "We don't use those words in this house" and then I walk away from him.

3) When he gets angry at me I say "Your anger is not welcome. You are angry at someone else so don't direct it at me".

Eventually he got sick of the way I was setting boundaries with him and he decided he doesn't want to see me much (yippee!) and when we do see each other he has learned that he won't get a rise out of me and he keeps his mouth shut. They do love to get a rise out of others. It's what keeps them alive. So don't let him see that he is getting a rise out of you.

I do understand that our situations are very different and what worked for me and my brother may not work with your ex. But in order to keep yourself safe from your ex you will need to put into place some boundaries with him. Boundaries that you can use when are with him.

I also will add that it took some time for me to build these boundaries with my brother. First I had to have the guts to use them, then, once I did use them, I had to go through a time when he would get more angry at me for using them. This did increase my anxiety... a lot. But eventually I become more comfortable setting my boundaries with him and he eventually learned what my boundaries are and respected them - not because he respected my boundaries but more because he didn't like that I wasn't supporting his angry opinions/feelings.

I do hope you can find what works for you and your ex. Hang in there and keep telling yourself that he can not bring you down.

Take care

My oldest daughter is Bipolar and impossible to deal with. Also had to cut ties.
I too went through a nasty divorce....my ex is not bipolar....more anti social personality disorder which is just as bad to deal with. Both kinds of ppl are impossible to deal with and are better left to their own delusional devices.

Having that said and being through a divorce......I hope that you are keeping your ex's nasty, threatening e-mails/texts, etc. turn them over to your lawyer and see if you can get sole custody of your son. Your ex should have supervised visits if any at all (all threats should be taken seriously).
It is difficult to have children involved in a divorce, but your job is to keep them safe.....and yourself.
Practice meditation/deep breathing and exercise when you can. It will help you release negative feelings that you may harbor. Work on you and IMO don't get into another relationship until you are healed (just my shiny nickels worth...ok?). Get some counseling. Finding a good counselor is worth their weight in gold. Best of luck to you and your son.

Thank you both LuckyEmpathy and MsBlank1 for both your advice and helpful ideas. I do have sole custody of my son, he has visitations with his father on weekends. And I have an active lawyer who truly cares about all our needs. I have been to a councilor and have grown leaps and bounds from who I was after the divorce. I was diagnosed with Battered Women's Syndrome and I have made leaps and bounds to improving the way I deal with my ex and the situations he tries to start. There are just some days that I just cant find the strength to do all I need to do. I did have a restraining order against him for Two years after the divorce. Something I should reconsider again? Thank you for your kind words of encouragement again.