I dont know what I was thinking telling my husband that I would help raise his two granddaughters. The last week and a half has been hard. His daughter got the kids taken from her by children services and they were placed with us. They are now telling us that this is going to be long term. What the hell was I thinking. I have to try and find a job and get back to work. My anxiety level is at an all time high right now. I am really not sure if my husband even cares or is noticing what this is doing to me? I feel lonely. The attention my husband used to show me is gone. I dont see myself being able to raise these kids till they are 18. I have had to give up my counseling sessions because of not having enough money and time. I have no babysitter or these kids. I told my husband that I am not sure I can go back to work and be a full time mom to these kids. I am older now and with my health issues it makes it a lot harder. I am so stupid for giving in to him and taking the kids. I think either way I am going to end up losing him. Just what I dont need right now. To make matters worse the court said his daughter has to have supervised visitation at our house with us there. I cant handle that. Those kids are so bad when they are around her. After they have seen her it is like all my hard work has been for nothing. Sorry I am just venting and looking for a way out. I really need help right now. It dont make it any better that I have family members telling if I really love my husband I would be willing to do this. I have raised my children. My baby is 21. I know i just cant do this and the longer i do this the worse my anxiety is going to get.
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